2005....yawn...oh, it's over?

Ok, for me personally, 2oo5 wasn't a real exciting year.

I guess you know that if you have read my blog. (Ahem...this blog, the one I started in July...ya know...these words on the black background? Yep, it's my blog.)

I did get to see my son outside of hospitals (long story...another time please). We had fun visits, lots of hugs and talking and just spending good time together. Wonderful :) And, I did (and will continue to) spend a lot of time with Mom. I love that woman.

There was also a trip to the ocean. Surf, sand and lots of life guards.....(did someone turn up the heat?). Let's see...what else? Oh...written road rage. My invention. Better than stopping the jeep and smacking someone upside the head. I admitted to the world that I use the "F" word. Yes, that one. I discovered that I am a lustful old wench (and the tradition continues...), who wouldn't mind being a Diva just once in her life. I found a vagina online while blogging at work. In living color. Just made my whole day (coughchokegasp). And I made one major huge gigantic change to my blog...I removed the ' in the title. It took me months to get over that criticism (I have told you about my sarcastic side haven't I?). I got brave and posted a tribute to my Father that I wrote a few years ago. And, I didn't edit it like the local paper did when they ran it.

I told you all about the ceiling falling, the bathroom with red while and blue shag carpeting (there has been no bonfire...yet) and the struggles of living with two men (one of whom still calls me his "girlfriend" after 7 years - Do you have any idea of the looks I get when he does this? I am 51 now forgodssake! I am not a "girl"!!)

I suddenly have an urge to sing WOMAN! W-O-M-A-N!

ohshit...did I say I am 51?? Arrgh! I admitted it. Yes, (crying softly here) I turned 51 three weeks ago (sobbing violently now....)

2005 - its coming to an end.

2006? It's gotta be better. It has to be. Please? Please? Oh come on, ya gotta let it be better!

I guess we'll see won't we? Happy New Year :)

2005...slip sliding away

This time of year, as many others do, I look back at the year and see what I've accomplished and at all the changes that have taken place in my life. I also look at what I want to accomplish in the coming year.

And sometimes I think...ahhell, it's just another day.

Resolutions? I normally don't make them. Why lie to myself? However this year is different...I started a blog and now I have some resolutions.

I resolve, in 2006 to never have popups, music or advertisements on my blog. I also resolve to never beg for money to keep my blog going. I resolve to not even attempt to make money through my writing. (Now, if a miracle happened and someone offered me money to write I don't think I'd refuse it!!) And, I will not attempt to sell you anything.

Nope, ain't gonna do it.

Those are resolutions I know I can keep. I write about things I know. I write about my life and the people in it. And, if along the way I can make you smile - then I've done my job.

It amazes me that since I've started this little blog that it's had over 5,000 views. Ohhhh I know, some people get thousands a day. But from the comments I've received, I've made a few people smile. That makes me feel good :) (see! a smile from me!)

I'm hoping soon to have new adventures to write about as we are headed to Miami the end of January! (yes! yes! the ocean! sand surf and cabana boys! hotdamn!) I will have more stories about Mom and my son. And, without doubt I will have more stories of the stupid and crazy situations I get myself caught up in....but that's my life.

So, to those in 2005 that have brought love and laughter into my life - thank you from the bottom of my heart. To my friends and family - you are forever in my heart.

And to those who read my thoughts, may this new year bring you all much love, great health and tons of happiness.

Christmas is over.....

Another one has come and gone. Christmas that is.

Now the bill paying begins.

I keep saying that I will not use credit cards at Christmas...but it never quite works out that way. So, I will pay them off quickly. Or I should say as quickly as I can. Depends on how much money that child of mine will be needing in January.

Yes, I help my child, in every way I can. So shoot me.

Anyway...

It's now the week between holidays and I am off work (big HOTDAMN! inserted here). I actually slept til after 8am today. Well, not counting when the roomie was up rummaging through the house getting ready to go to his office...and my son calling me at 6:20 (he forgot I don't work this week). But I went back to sleep :) (yes - that is a smile)

Santa was pretty good to me actually. I got a 19" flat panel monitor for my puter :) (yes another smile!). I can almost see things without my glasses now. Almost. And, I got a 200gig hard drive to install on my puter. It will come in handy for all my graphics, photos and house design files that I just hate to delete...ever.

However, there is a story behind the hard drive....

The roomie asked one evening what I wanted for Christmas. I had no reply actually...didn't know what to ask for as I never know how much he wants to spend. But, the next morning as I was getting ready for work I had the insert from the hard drive I bought my son in my purse so I could send in for a rebate. I must have taken it out while looking for my car keys and forgot it... He found it and took it as a hint. He then proceeded to throw it away (along with the $60 of rebates I could get).

Ta-da! I got a 200gig hard drive.

I am not complaining. I will get plenty of use out of it. However, the $60 rebate could have paid off one of those little credit card bills. ohwell... Or, I could have bought an additional ram chip to throw in this booger too. ohwell again. But, it's ok - he meant well.

So, after I get the credit cards paid off - well, I'll just have to use them again to buy the ram :)

Merry Christmas!

Here's wishing everyone a wonderful Christmas and the greatest New Year!

Thank's to everyone who has taken the time to read my blog. And to those who have posted comments - Thank you so much. I appreciate the kind words.

Merry Christmas!

The week before Christmas and all through my life...

Nothing is calm and life is full of strife...

Ok, so I'm not a poet. Shoot me. Please.

Actually this last week has been one of a lot of ups and downs.

Ups? I went to Michigan this past weekend and spend time with my son :) I got plenty of son hugs and kisses. We watched some funny movies, talked and talked, upgraded his PC (thanks to some presents his ole Mom gave him for Christmas). We just had a good time. Relaxing. And, again we said we can not and will not go so long between visits. I miss that child. A part of my heart stays in Michigan when I leave there. A big part. I love you kiddo.

Work has been hell. Spent a major part of last week working on everyone's computers installing netphone and showing them how to use it (after I taught myself). The boss also gave me her credit card to buy some new equipment we need...flashbacks to my years and years as a purchasing agent. I did good though - saved enough by buying from one company instead of another that it paid for one scanner. But now? The equipment is in and needs installed. I have 5 scanners to set up, two printer/copier/fax machines to set up and 10 PC's to upgrade with more ram. Not bad really, except I also have a TON of data work to do to prepare for year end. Our end of year stats can not be run until I get this done and I now have 3 days to do it and all the installation work.

Is that another gray hair?? ohhell...whats one more...

Phoenix. Well the Fiesta Bowl trip went to hell in a hand basket. The man who was going to sell us the tickets decided a week later (after we made flight reservations - non refundable of course) that he wanted $1500 a seat. I don't think so. (growlgrumblecursecurse) So the roomie got his ex-wife (who does travel arrangements) to call Delta today pretending to be me and cancelled the trip. So now we have $1500 in an account with Delta to use within the next year... (coughcough..yeah right)...

Ok fine...except now I will be stuck in this house next week when I am off work. And its winter. And this house does not have a working furnace. Space heaters sit everywhere. Why you ask? Don't. I gave up asking questions a long time ago.

Oh alright...back to the Ups... shopping is almost done. Only one more gift to buy and I am finished. Now I just have wrapping to do. Oh, and we have to finish the tree. The roomie finally got it yesterday and we started decorating it last night.

The roomie did get me a very nice necklace for my birthday. Not sure what type of stone it is ...sandstone maybe? He got it at my favorite store, Kokopelli's. He did good.

The rest of this week will be hectic. Grocery shopping, laundry, decorating, cooking, wrapping...work and more work at the office.

Maybe I will get to sleep late one morning next week. Please Santa? Can I ? Pretty please?

She changed my outlook of life with just a few words...

The sun was shining brightly yesterday. It was my birthday. I went to visit the one person that I know can always make me smile. My Mother.

My Mom is 82, a little tiny greek woman. She has suffered the loss of two children and her husband of 48 years. She has had four strokes, and earlier this year had two surgeries for breast cancer.

Yet, she always has a smile and looks at life with a smile. She said her radiation treatments were fun! She loved going there and meeting all the people, sharing their pain and lives.

As we were in the car together, eating her favorite popcorn chicken from Lee's...I asked her what she wants for Christmas. Her response was deep, and from the heart.

"I want to live at least one more year."

I had to pull the car over to the side of the road. We hugged and cried. I told her if I could I would give her another 82 years.

She says there is so much yet she wants to do and see. She wants to live to see my son grow, marry and have babies of his own. She has grandbabies that she wants to watch grow.

She wants to see the ocean.

THAT I am going to do my best to do for her this spring. I remember my first time seeing the ocean. I stood there and stared. It was the most amazing sight. And, I want her to experience that feeling. And, I want to be there to share it with her.

If this is to be her last year I want to fill it with new experiences for her. I want her to see things and do things she never thought she would or could do. I want her to feel the love that she has given to so many in return.

She told me a while back, that when it's her time she will go quietly. But, she will always be here with me when I need her. I know she will be, she always has been.

I know I can't give her more time, but I can give her the best time that she does have.

I will do my best. And I will give her the love she has given me my whole life. We will cry together and we will share laughter.

And she will continue to teach me about life.

Tomorrow....

Tomorrow is my birthday.

Big freaking whoop.

My boy will call. He will tell me he loves me. Thats a wonderful gift. Truly.

I will go and see my Mom and she will give me hugs and kisses. Those will be more wonderful gifts. Can never get enough Mom hugs.

I'm not sure the roomie even remembers what tomorrow is.

I don't know why I am so sad. I shouldn't be. My son and mother love me and tell me and show me. It should be enough.

Shouldn't it?

I feel so empty, so alone.

I try so hard to fill the time, and my mind, with other things. I design homes, I play with paint shop pro, I throw myself into my job. Yet, there is something missing.

Love from someone besides my son and mother? Maybe.

Love for myself? Maybe.

What happened to that independent woman? Where did she go?

She is still here, I just know it. I just need to find her again.

Happy Birthday to me.

Saturday night ramblings...

Ok, I really hate the new Victoria Secret commercial. I am not, nor have I ever been 6 ft. tall and weighed 110 lbs. and my boobs are real (what there is left of them....). There is no bra, panties or garter belt that will ever make me look like those girls.

Sigh...

I have lost weight in the last two weeks. I've walked up and down 50,000 stairs, carried large heavy objects (not the roomie - I am not superwoman). The office where I work moved. I have carried computers and monitors and battery backups. I have wired cubicles. I have gone up and down the spiral staircase until I have gotten dizzy. And, I've had no time to eat.

So, I am on my way to finally losing that 10 lbs.

:)

The roomie decided last week that we are going to Phoenix the end of the month. We will be attending the Fiesta Bowl. His brother got the tickets and it will be fun. We went in 2001 and had a great time. The roomie is hoping that it will be Notre Dame and Ohio State. Although I live just 60 miles from Columbus, I've never attended a game. I can't wait to see the half time show. The Best Damn Band in the Land :)

Airline tickets for the trip are another story. But after spending 20,000 hrs online searching - we have reservations. Airfare has gone through the roof. $650 each to fly out and back???? ThankGodI'mnotpayingforit.

:)

I have a birthday next weekend. Not sure anyone here remembers. Ohwell. At least I get a day off work. (One good thing about the job.) No, I am not going to tell you how old I will be. Let's just say I am well old enough to have a 23 yr old son, yet young enough to still want to have fun .

:)

I have a good start on my Christmas shopping (yes, I said Christmas - not Holiday!). The roomies son is finished, I got a few things for the roomie too. I got a new hard drive and 1 gig of ram for my son's puter and a couple sweaters for him...so far. I am burning brain cells trying to figure out what to get my Mom. So tomorrow I will take her out and see if I can get some ideas. I am trying desperately to get in the spirit of the holiday. So far it isn't working. It doesn't help that the roomie hasn't gone to the storage place and gotten the tree or decorations. Guess I'll have to put a sign out front for Santa. "Sandy lives here...bring gifts."

:)

It can't be that time of year already!

Thanksgiving is this week?

ohgod...that means Christmas isn't far behind.

We will go to the roomies parents for turkey day dinner this year - again. I am being the good girl (stop coughing!) and taking a veggie and cheese tray, greenbean casserole, meat rollup thingies, a pumpkin pie and cranberry salad (yum).

The roomies Dad will fix the turkey and bread and I will help him with the rest when we get there. His Mother will sit in her chair (they call it her "nest") as usual and do nothing....as will the roomie and his son. I love his Dad. We get along great and he is a wonderful caring man. The roomie doesn't take after his Father...trust me on this one.

But after that we will head up to see my family. It's like night and day the differences in the families. And for me, a great one. The house will be full of people, lots of noise and laughter. There will be hugs and kisses and people trying to fill you up with all types of food and desserts. Kids will be running through the house and my Mom will sit there smiling and enjoying every minute of it.

She used to fix HUGE dinners for Thanksgiving. She would get the biggest turkey the store could order...28 to 32 lbs. And a ham. And we would have sweet potatoes, mashed ones too...veggies, cranberries, stuffing (not from a box)....and you would eat til you could eat no more...and later go back for more. The house would always be overflowing with family and friends and the night would usually end in a loud game of poker. Penny ante of course.

My son will be having dinner in Michigan with his Father and family there. His Grandpa will be in from Florida. Maybe next year we will get to be together. It's been too long. We will talk on the phone, probably a couple of times, and we will tell each other how much we miss and love the other.

And I will be thankful that I have him, and my Mom. I've come so close to losing them both in the last 3 yrs. But I have them, and I am forever grateful.

Comments about comments received.

A quick Thank You to all who left comments on my posts, especially my last post in tribute to my Father and all Veterans.

Your comments were very kind, and greatly appreciated.

In Memory...A tribute to a Veteran

There stood, in 1941, a young man. Handsome in his army uniform, standing about 5'11, 185 lbs, as he married his sweetheart of 3 months, not knowing that in 2 yrs he would be off to Europe, fighting a war unlike any known before. And he did, leaving a wife and young son to go to war. He was a Sergeant, in charge of a group of men all younger than he yet they all were prepared to fight for their lives, their country, their families. their freedom.

The horrors he saw were the same as those before him had seen, and those soldiers that would someday follow. He and his group of men rescued a woman and her daughters from the enemy, who were terrifying their lives attempting to rape them, and remove any innocence left in their souls. The woman being so grateful, gave the Sergeant her silver wedding band as a token of gratitude. He watched young men be wounded, some die. He held them as they took their last breaths. He saw young men lose their sanity, shooting at anything that moved..and cared for them until medics arrived.

The war continued for this soldier until Dec 28th of 1944, during the Battle of the Bulge...when one of the men in his troop, while marching behind him stepped onto a land mine, it exploded..killing the young private and seriously wounding the Sergeant. He awoke a few weeks later in a hospital in France. It was March of 1945 before he was able to go home.

He found upon his return that he no longer had a job, the plant would not hire him back, as they considered him disabled. He took a job with a drugstore, and worked hard and long hours to take care of his family. He also took with him memento's of the war, schrapnel still was in his body..with the threat that if it moved, it could kill him.

He worked hard, raised his family and grew older. He spent 3 days in 1972 at a veterans hospital going thru one test after another in an attempt to have his disability rating increased, so his one daughter could go to college. Nurses commented to him, questioning to find out if he was aware that he had metal in his body, he laughed. They increased his rating to 85%, not enough. He was so discouraged, but the daughter wasnt. She knew this was done with love, and it meant more to her than any medical school could have.

This man would sit and watch movies that would bring back the past, wringing his hands and smoking a million cigarettes as the memories over took him, yet this man who fought the enemy and had killed could touch a human with the softness of angels.

In 1989 he was hospitalized, at a veterans hospital. His wife and some of his children would visit every day, and listen to the stories told by the vets who were there with him. The daughter learned about life from these men, and learned of their courage, and how to find her own. The old Sergeant took a turn for the worse, and was placed in intensive care, and on Feb 24, 1989 they took him from there to a private room, so his family could spend his last few hours alone with him.

His wife of 48 years, and one daughter, spent that time with him, leaving only to fight with nurses to get him water, or storming a doctors quarters to get pain medication for a man who had given everything he had for his country, his home. Fighting to give this man his chance to die with dignity, as he had lived. She won her battle, they gave the soldier his medicine, and at 4:50 that afternoon the nurse called to his wife and daughter...saying "he needs you". His wife held him in her arms, his daughter at his side holding his hand, they said goodbye.

His widow has his flag, placed on the shelf beside his picture, and an old silver wedding band lays in the jewelry box. His purple heart is now a special possession of his daughter. He lies in a cemetary, with his son and an infant daugther, his grave marker bearing his name...

His soul is free, the war is over.

Dedicated to all Veterans past, present and future.
In Loving Memory of my Father
Sgt. Charles Joseph Horner, US Army
75th Division, 289th Infantry
Anti Tank Corps.

(Side note: I wrote this in 1998. It was published in a local newspaper for Veterans Day 1999 as the lead entry of a tribute to all veterans. I miss you Pop.)

Written Road Rage...part two

Young blonde girl checking your hair in your rearview mirror while driving a little Saturn...

I am an older blonde lady driving a Jeep. The next time you cut me off like that and then hit your brakes, I will throw it into four wheel drive and drive over your roof.

You won't like it. Trust me.
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Woman in the gold Chevy S10....

I know you wanted over into my lane. But hon, I was driving in the right lane, and the people on the sidewalk would not have appreciated it if I had gone up there with them. Pay attention to signs and what lane you need to be in ok? If you can't read, there are arrows. Just be glad you didn't hit me. I would have decked your ass.
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Young man driving the old Plymouth station wagon with the clothes hanger holding up your muffler, kinda sorta (it drags the ground hon), with the 30 day tag? You won't be passing echeck anytime soon sweetie. And the blue smoke? not good...really not good...(coughcough)...
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50something man in the black Escalade? You can not keep jumping lanes on the bridge to try and avoid the spray from the city fountains. It just aint gonna happen. Let the car get wet ok?
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Young couple in the Ford Escort...the light was red for you. Again I stress, I drive a bigger car. It will cause you major damage. If you are color blind - the red one is the light on the top.
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UPS truck? I know you are bigger than me. But do you really have to park in the middle of the road on a curve? Kind of hard to see around you.
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Ok, that's my road rage for today.

Ya just gotta love driving in Dayton....

Diva's??

Webster's definition of Diva is: goddess, from Latin, feminine of divus divine, god.

I want to be a Diva.

There are (according to Google): Cruise Diva's, Tango Diva's, Singing Diva's, Wine Diva's, Diva Perfumes, Phenomenal Diva's, Stitch Diva's, Blogging Diva's, Web Design Diva's, Hotel Diva's, Surf Diva's, Troubled Diva's, Diva clothing, Scrapbook Diva's, Dashing Diva's, Movie Diva's, Quiz Diva's, and Diva Lingerie.

Hell, there is even a Diva Cup. (You do not want to know what this is...trust me.)

But...is there a Sandy Diva? ohhellno

I can't be a Cruise Diva - have never been on a cruise. Don't tango. I am not what you would call phenomenal at anything. I don't sing (not in front of people anyway. Thank your lucky stars for that one.) I don't surf (unless you count surfing blogs or the internet.). Scrapbook? I don't have time for that. Hotel? Have stayed in a few. Quiz Diva? Ohgod, does that mean I have to answer questions??

And I sure as hell don't need a Diva Cup. Mother nature took care of that for me thankyouverymuch.

Let's see...can I be a Peon Diva? or "I've had AOL for over 10 years" Diva? or "I have a 23 yr old son and am always broke" Diva? or "the laundry needs done - again" Diva? or "Nonglamorous" Diva? Is there such a thing?

Do Divas have to be gorgeous? Can't there be a plain-jane Diva?

Everytime I sign online, or look in a magazine - you see women who are called "Diva's"...they dress very nice, have great hair, money, jewelry...

Me? Jeans and tennie runners - and hair that I fight every day to lay straight...(yes, God had a good laugh when he made me with kinkycurlywavyfrizzy hair).

Diva's seem to have this magical life. They tour and have people wanting their autographs, taking their pictures, filling their every wish.

Me? Data entry, fixing puters, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, making beds.......

I don't have to be a beautiful Diva (cause then you would hate me wouldn't you?...well, thats what the commercials say!)...

But it would be kind of nice to be a goddess...just for a little while :)

Halloween...

Boo!

Scared ya didn't I?

No?

Shit.

I can try again. No? Oh, okay.

Damn.

I like Halloween. I love seeing all the little kids dressed up, grinning from ear to ear holding out their candy bags.

We don't get as many kids now as we used to, but it's still fun. Last year we had the normal little devils, vampires, fairies, princesses, cowboys and even Jeff Gordon. Yes, Jeff Gordon. That little guy was so proud of himself. I teased him and told him he could at least have been Elliott Sadler! The Dad laughed and told me thats what his wife said!

It's sad that the kids can't go trick or treating like we used to. My brothers and I would be gone the two full hours. We did the plat where we lived and always crossed the highway to the apartment complex. Hey! Lots of doors real close together there. Popcorn balls, BIG Hershey bars (not the little things like you buy now). So much candy we used pillow cases instead of pumpkins or bags. We always got enough candy it lasted us until Easter.

Mom had these huge jars, the kind pickles came in. We each had about ten that we put our candy in and put a sticker with our names on them.
If you got into someone else's jar, you were dead meat.

Yes, we did the bad kid stuff. Soaped windows and tp'd houses. Nothing damaging. My cousin once soaped all the windows on our house. He was mad at my Mom for something. Only thing....he used Dove soap. Came off that night when it rained.

I think its cool that some of the smaller cities and towns around here have special Halloween parties for kids. The malls do too.

But there's nothing like going door to door and saying "Trick or Treat"...unless of course some smartassed Dad says "I wanna a trick".

Now days I would just tell him, "Sweetie, your heart couldn't handle it".
:)

I am in Magic Bullet Hell...

Ohgod, someone please tell me why they allow infomercials on television? And why, oh why oh why does the roomie watch them??

The other day when I got online I noticed that he had used my puter, and had visited a website about an item he saw on tv. I knew, I just knew he had ordered it.

Not just one - two. Two little tiny food processor like items. And he has such grand plans for these things.

And he doesn't cook. Ever. Unless you count heating up a can of soup on occassion.

He now wants to buy daquiri mix and pina colada mix to make drinks. He wants to buy fresh fruit and carrots to try the juicer. He wants to make milk shakes, smoothies, alfredo sauce and pesto sauce.

He won't even eat pesto sauce.

I won't eat pesto sauce.

What in the hell IS pesto sauce??

He says I can make scrambled eggs in 3 seconds. Mix them anyway. I can do that with eggs in a bowl and a fork...and I don't have to clean some little thingie with sharp blades on it.

He paid $99 for these two things. And $39.99 to ship them.

I can imagine we can sell them in a yard sale next spring for maybe $10?

The sky is falling! The sky...errr...the ceiling is falling???

Yes, the ceiling is falling. In the kitchen.

Arrrggghhhhh

It's been this way for a while. At least the four years I have lived in the roomies house.

And it's getting worse.

Little pieces falling every day...laying on the kitchen counter.

Maybe Santa will bring me a hardhat. A red one.

Speaking of red, have I told you about the red, white and blue shag carpet?

In the bathroom.

In a house that had just two of the male species in it for years until I moved in.

(There WILL be a bonfire someday. Soon).

And, the tile was taken off one wall in the bathroom and the medicine cabinet does not cover the huge hole in the wall. He almost bought paneling...three years ago.

I could climb in there and get lost (hey, I might actually get some action in there...lord knows what I might find).

Bookcases cover the hole at the bottom of the staircase. It's been that way for a while. At least 7 years.

A mouse did not make the hole.

The living room needs painted again, and I will...after the work around the new door that was installed, a year and a half ago, is finished. It needs to be taped and mud put on the drywall. Oh, and the closet doors need put back on where the entertainment center was going to be built. Then I will paint.

Ohhh, the house could be such a cute place. Truly. It has a really nice huge front porch. A small pond has been added, along with tons of plants and flowers. I did that :)

The work inside will get finished. Eventually.

When I can convince the roomie to hire a contractor.

My son has grown up...

Ok, my version of a "Mommy Blog" here.

I am the mother of a 23 yr old son. My one and only child. The light of my life. I truly feel that God gave me a gift that day in April 1982.

Ohhhhh I am not saying this child of mine hasn't caused me some grief and more than my share of gray hair! Because he has, he definitely has! But, he has also shown me the true meaning of the word "love".

He moved to Michigan a little over 4 yrs ago. I hated (and still do to be honest) him leaving, but this was something he wanted and needed to do. He wanted to try to get to know his father and his family there. And, he wanted to try and get into the trades.

And he has done it :) He is an apprentice pipefitter. Learning to weld. His foreman is thrilled with him, the company he works for loves him. He works hard, will try anything, will work overtime if needed. And he loves the money. Well, the money he WILL make someday.

My boy has been through a lot in the past 3 yrs. More than most people should ever go through. He was in a major explosion, followed by 18 surgeries I believe its been now. And, for a while after that he decided to live a little on the wild side...and got himself into some trouble. But, he has faced it all. He could have tried to run away from his problems, but he hasn't. He is working very hard to make something of his life.

My son is growing up.

Even though I don't get to see him as often as I would like, we talk all the time. We share our lives and we always tell each other "I love you".

He is a good kid. Tall and handsome. (Hey, he's my boy! And I think he's gorgeous!) He wants a family someday and I know he will be a great father to his children. He is strong, determined and yet has a heart the size of Texas.

He is my son, and I love him. Very much.

Random observations and thoughts...

Such a waste of trees...Political signs on the side of the road. Do these people honestly think I will vote for them because they have more signs littering the roadside than someone else? I don't think so.
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I read the other day that oil prices were the lowest they have been in 3-4 months, yet gas prices are at record highs.

Hmmmm....can you say "price gouging"?
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When in Daytona Beach recently I noticed that about 80% of the people on the beach do not look in mirrors before they go out.

My eyes are still trying to heal.
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I have a cold. I've been sick for three days now and when I go to the store to find my over the counter medicine I have to get it over the prescription counter.

Grrrrrrrr (yes, this cold has made me grumpy.)
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Lose 20 lbs and go from a size 10 to a size 2! Just buy their food and ta-da! You are skinny! Even chocolate!

Then...when you quit eating their food and go back into the real world and gain 30 lbs back....well, you can buy their food all over again!
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Jimmie Johnson is still a dipshit.
-----
If you add "desktop weather", "news updates" and other items such as this to your start up on your puter....it may run slower.

Someone please explain this to my roomie. He won't listen to me.
-----
The weatherman predicted a 30% chance of rain today.

We are getting all 30%.
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Sweetest day is October 15th.

I accept all gifts :)

Sunday means Nascar, visiting Mom and Tommy Lee?

Dear Jimmie Johnson,
Ohhh poor baby got caught in a crash. Did your car get a boo-boo? Well, stupidsombitch, it's what you get after causing the big one 20 laps into the race. Dumbass. You keep saying someone bumped you in the butt - I don't think so (and neither do the race announcers). They showed the replay, a lot, and there was no one near you. You bumped Elliot Sadler and then all hell broke loose. Thank God no one was hurt. And now you grump because someone else did it, caused another wreck and you got caught in it. Ohgoshdarn...
Signed,
A ticked off Nascar fan

(Did I forget to tell you dear reader that I am sorta kinda a passionate person, and I do get ticked off once in a while...and I don't hold back?)
-----
Took Mom shopping again today. She loves it. We went to Toys-R-Us and had a ball playing with things. Elmo hasn't danced that much in a long time (ya just gotta make them dance!). Mom's first great great grandchild will be one next Sunday so we had fun shopping for him. She also was playing with the dolls. I think I will try to find her another cabbage patch baby for Christmas, like the one I bought her years ago. She gave it to a granddaughter. I think it might just make her smile.

She also told me that my son needs to find him a girl with long dark hair and big blue eyes. When he does, she says, this girl will have a big heart and love him forever.

I called him and told him...his girl now has long dark hair, but hazel eyes.

ohoh
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Speaking of my son, he sent me a song today. Its a very nice acoustic guitar son...and its by Tommy Lee. Hello Again is the name of it, and I like it. I like it a lot.

Imagine that, me a girl of the 70's liking a song by Tommy Lee. Will miracles never cease?
-----
And, my friend Lor (Such is Life) has been sending me music by the Eagles. Thank you my friend. Desperado....one of the greatest songs ever written. Even if you don't care for the Eagles you have to admit, it's a great song.
-----
Work tomorrow. Yuck. I need to win the lottery so I can retire. But, you have to play to win..and well, shit..I forgot to play.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I could handle retirement. Move somewhere near the beach. Ocean...sand...beach patrol. Sigh....

Odds and Ends...and stuff inbetween

Boy cats that have been fixed no longer have testicles.

My son's neighbor gave him a cat, told him he'd been fixed. Wrong. He is still all boy.

And his name is Todd.

I believe she just wanted to get rid of a cat named after an old boyfriend who she would have liked to have fixed.

Todd will be fixed soon.
-----
My Mom's watch collection grew over the weekend. She found a watch with a light blue strap and large numbers that are easy to see.

We bought it. She smiled. It made my day.
-----
My boss asked me to compose a list of things we need to do, or have done, for moving the computer equipment the end of October. We have lost our lease and have to move.

Number one on the list...find a place to move it to.

The CEO still hasn't found a place for us to move to.

We have five weeks....
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Maxwell Smart died.

It makes me sad.

I grew up with that show and loved it.

Rest in peace.
-----
In surfing blogs I have discovered... there are a lot of depressed people out there. And, one woman loves to tell everyone about her sexual exploits with her husband...in detail. There are a few who believe themselves to be fantastic artists, and some who are. Some folks want to impeach Bush, some don't...I don't think bloggers opinions will really count that much, sorry. There are two types of religious fanatics - one's who believe, and one's who don't. One cartoon blog makes me smile a lot. I read it everyday. Congrats on making it to the newspapers. I think you will do well. I do not have an online or at home business and I don't want to make money from my blog thankyouverymuch. Buildings all over the world have doors. The self proclaimed grammer bitch will probably tell me I've spelled or written something wrong. Spammers suck. Big time.
-----
I miss the ocean. And the beach patrol. (Hey, I may be older but I do like to look!)
-----
Only four more days til the weekend. Yeah :)

Vacation is over....sigh....

Morning in Daytona Beach. Actually the sun had not yet peeked through the clouds on the horizon.

The picture was taken my last morning there. I awoke about 6am, grabbed a cup of coffee and went out to the balcony.

The roomie was sleeping. I let him. I wanted time alone. Time alone with the sounds and sights of the ocean.

It calms me.












The trip was good, and very much needed. We arrived in Daytona on Monday afternoon. This was the view from our room. It was too late in the day to lay out, but we still had plenty of time to walk along the beach.

The waves were still pretty high as the hurricane was still moving north. The surfers enjoyed them in the early morning. And I enjoyed watching them.

Tuesday morning I was out on the sun deck by 8:30 to lay out and soak up some rays. Hell, I was out there every morning by that time! Except Saturday, we decided to take the day off from laying out and went to a big flea market in town. And, in between times we did visit a few surf shops and the usual cheapie tshirt places. And yes, I bought a few tshirts for my collection.

I now have a new favorite drink (although I do not drink often, and I prefer the girlie "can't taste the liquor" type drinks). It's call a Lava Flow. ohyum. Kind of like a huge pina colada surrounded by strawberry syrup and real strawberries. ohyum again. Yes, I had my usual fifteen thousand drinks of sweet tea - but that lava flow, ohmy :)

We did the usual tourist type shell collecting and walks on the beach. Nothing romantic...ohlordno. I was with the roomie remember?

I got to see the beach patrol (they don't call them lifeguards anymore I guess). He even took a picture of them for me. If only I were about 25 yrs. younger....(Is it getting warm in here?)

So, the trip was good. But now, the flip flops have been put away. I went back to work yesterday.

And I am dreaming of my next visit to the ocean.

Vacation!!

The flip flops are packed, as is my swimsuit, shorts, tshirts and numerous other items. I am ready to go.

I need this vacation...bad...REAL bad.

I, like so many others, work at least 50 hrs a week, Kinda sorta get paid for 40. (I work for a nonprofit organization. *I* am the nonprofit part I think.) I haven't had any time off since a year ago June.

I am exhausted. This vacation stuff is hard work.

The "roomie" of course didn't help with the packing. It was all I could do to get him to get his undies and clothes out for me to toss in the suitcase. I've been doing laundry all day, took some time to go see Mom (I love that woman.), stopped at the hated WalMart for makeup and snacks for the trip.

We decided THIS morning where we are going.

It was going to be Myrtle Beach. Been there twice - but now this hurricane/tropical storm might be visiting there also. So, I cancelled those reservations. Then he thought of Colorado. Never been there, it would be ok. Not the ocean, but I appreciate beautiful scenery too. Then it was Gettysburg, PA and a few places around there (this all took place yesterday...please bear with me as I scream here). Ok, how about Niagara Falls? Texas? Branson Missouri? (Ohforgodssake pick a place already!) Key West? (I can do that! pleaseplease!) Nope, too expensive. (shitdamnpoop)

Florida it is.

Yeah! (Actually I would say that for ANYWHERE at this point!)

So, tomorrow morning I am out of here until the 20th or 21st. No work! (At least no broken computers, screwed up or crashing databases or scams to be investigated.)

We are taking his laptop, so I may just have to post once or twice while gone.

But tomorrow morning, while driving, I will think back to four years ago. I will remember watching the television as the second plane hit the tower in New York. And I will say a silent prayer for all of the people we lost that day and their families. They will never be forgotten.

Hugs to all*

Written Road Rage...

Ok, so I suffer from road rage at times. Who doesn't?

But, I will express it here instead of while behind the wheel. That way if someone shoots at me - they are gonna miss.

Ok, girl in the red Pontiac GrandAm with the 30 day tags, wearing white disposable gloves as you were driving (I'm still trying to figure that one out.). The left lane is for people who drive at least the speed limit. Not 20 mph below it...especially when the speed limit is only 40 mph.(White gloves???)

Guy wearing the blue ball cap driving the black F150...stay the hell off my ass sweetie, unless you plan on biting it.

Old fart in the Suburu Outback...it's the long slender pedal on the right hon, not the other one. That one kinda sorta makes you slow down and lights up those red lights on the back of your car.

Lady in the little red Z car....hang up the phone and use that turn signal. Yes hon, it shows others you are planning on turning - especially when you do it in front of them.

Mr. City Bus Driver? Ah sir? I'm in that lane and you just can't move over here until I get outta the way ok??

And last, but not least...

Young man with the thumping base...your trunk hood is jumping up and down...and its making my car bounce too. I haven't had this much action since...well...ummmm, ohhell...turn it up!

Black Gold..Texas Tea..

Or is it Black Hills Gold?

Yea, that's it.

A week (yes, just ONE more week!!!) before vacation and what do I do? I went shopping.

I am an idiot.

I took my Mom shopping today, and again we had fun. She got herself four new sweaters for this winter. She has become a clothesaholic (and still has the watch fetish). While walking around the store, we had to check out the jewelry counter.

Now mind you, I am not rich, nor do I have a lot of expensive jewelry. I do have a nice collection of turquois as it's my favorite. But today - there it was - staring at me and calling my name, "Sandy...you know you want me. Buy me. Take me home."

It was a black onyx heart with Black Hills Gold leaves. Beautiful. Gorgeous in fact.

And it was on sale.

"No no no,' I told myself, and my Mom. We paid for her sweaters and left the store.

And it continued to call my name.

I took Mom home, talked with my sister, and yes I told her about the necklace. I left there after an hour or so and headed back - to the same store.

Hey! I need new tennis shoes for next week!

Well, I do!

So in I went, completely avoiding the jewelry counter. I found some shoes. Tried on some jeans (what is it with all these low riders now?? I wore those back in the 70's, when I was young!), tried on a couple pair of slacks that I could use for work. Put them all back. Looked at some panties (That my friends, was for the man who is running a panty fetish blog I saw today while surfing.) Didn't buy any. I got socks instead. I continued to walk through the store, heading for the checkout...

And there it was. Smiling at me.

I bought it.

It's beautiful, I wanted it, and I work hard for my money. So, once in a while I buy myself something I want, not just something I need. Regular $80 and I got it for $28.

It's mine. All mine! (evil laugh inserted here) And I will wear it next week, on vacation.

It's still talking to me. Only now it says "I'm home". :)

I stand corrected...

Did you notice?

I changed the title of my blog!!

Yes, I made a major, drastic change.

I removed the ' that was in the word "its".

My grammer was not correct.

So shoot me.

Ok, ok I understand people have little pet peeves. And a person brought it to my attention that I had this little ' where it did not belong. I guess that little ' is one of her pet peeves.

So, I fixed it.

So now I stand (well, sit actually) all proud of myself. My blog title is grammatically correct.

Or is it?

Little things I've noticed lately...

I had to work yesterday. We had a "consumer expo" and I had a huge display there. Part of it consisted of a scam about a pearl. I noticed this one older woman, probably early to mid 70's. She walked up and was reading a lot of the information on the display - concerning recent scams in the area, etc. She smiled at me and I smiled back. Then she proceeded to try to turn her back on me, and stole the black velvet bag I had laying there with the pearl displayed on it. Oh no, she didn't take the pearl...just MY black velvet bag.

A 70+ yr old woman attending an expo about scams and schemes...and she is a clepto!

I was stunned. I wanted to walk up to her and say "Ma'am, that is my bag you just put in your plastic bag", but I didn't. I was afraid she would start hollering rape or accuse me of trying to rob her. Wouldn't have looked good since we were hosting the expo. And...the media was there.

I really wanted to knock that cane out of her other hand.

------

Last night I entered a blog challenge. I haven't done a lot of these, but once in a while I figure ohwhatthehell. A person took me up on my challenge rather quickly and I noticed a few votes were placed rather quickly. Hmmmm. I looked at the challengers site and profile as I usually do and noticed the person had four blogs. Hmmmm again. The challenge was over within an hour and (sniffsniff) I was defeated. I clicked on the list to see who voted....

And I noticed..yep...the names they use to register their other blogs. They had voted for themself...a few times.

I didn't feel so bad about the loss. I didn't cheat and vote for myself.

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I've been watching all the weather coverage about the hurricane due to hit the New Orleans and surrounding areas. I feel so bad for all the people there and the hell they are going through and will go through.

But I also noticed...idiots. Yes, idiots. Big ones.

Massive huge waves pounding the coast lines. Winds blowing and tree's bending. And there, in front of the camera, walks a man....like he is just taking a leisurely stroll. RUN YOU STUPID SOMBITCH! A Hurricane is coming! We aren't talking Category 1 or even 2 here - it's a big one! To quote Randy Quaid in some dumb movie that I can't remember the name..."A SHIT CLOUD IS ACOMIN!"

------

I've also noticed that I love old people (well, except the one that stole my velvet bag!). My Mom is 82 and has such a wonderful outlook on life. Enjoy it while you can, love all you can...and laugh as much as you can. She has developed a wristwatch fetish in the last year. I think she now has somewhere along the lines of 325 of them. Ok, so I might be stretching the truth...a little. But she has at least 30..all different shapes and colors. Her eyes light up when we pass a jewelry counter with watches. So we always stop and if she wants one - we get it. She gets such joy from a cheap little $9.95 watch. And me? I get joy watching her eyes light up and the smile on her face.

I didn't know her...

Yet my heart cries for her, and for her family.

I visit a lot of forums on the net, and over time have seen many postings about a young girl and her battle with cancer. A child, a mere 12 yrs on this earth. She lost her fight last night. A strong and valiant fight was fought, but God said the fighting was done. It was time for the child to rest, to be at peace.

No, I didn't know her, but I have seen how many hearts this child has touched. It amazes me, yet it doesn't.

In my job I see so much of the bad side of life, people cheating people, using others for their own personal gain. It makes one feel sad about the state of the world at times.

And then I see the posts of people from around the world to the family of this child and I feel their tears. And I know, there are still wonderful people out there. There are still people who care. People who have a heart and love and share.

And this child, the beautiful little girl, helped those people to see, hear, feel and love.

She has a special place in heaven. And her family has a place in my heart.

Where are my flip flops????

I need my flip flops! My shorts! T-shirts and tank tops! And yes - my swimsuit!

I'm going to the ocean!

HOT DAMN!

Two weeks from Sunday, September 11th we are leaving for Myrtle Beach, SC. Yeah! Whoopee! (Just be real glad you can not see me jumping up and down here..it's not a pretty sight.)

I made him sit down tonight and listen to me describe some hotels...and give me his credit card. We have a reservation!

Now, a word to all the weathermen out there - NO HURRICANES! I want sand, surf, SUN! My legs glow in the dark forgodssake! I need some color!

And sharks listen up! I will hit your damned nose so hard you will be looking out your tush if you get near me. Dolphins are safe, even ugly fish...just no fish with big sharp teeth. I am old, I am tough and I will not taste good. Trust me on this one.

Seven days...seven WHOLE days. Count em...1234567...NO WORK for over a week! The computers can fry for all I care. Virus' can invade the CEO's computer and the main server. I will not be there to fix them. (Can you tell I have not had any time off all year?) My cell phone will not be answering calls from the office, sorry. (Bless you caller ID.)

An oceanfront suite with a balcony (no, I wont toss him off...well, maybe). 5 pools (who uses a pool when they have an ocean in front of them??) a work out room (HA! excuse me while I laugh!) and even free breakfast.

I am ready. I have my towel, my sun lotion and my flip flops (they were in the bottom of the closet) and I am ready.

Cabana boy, bring me my drink!

Vacation Planning 101...and 102...and...

We are supposed to leave September 11th.

Supposed to...

Where are we going?

We have no idea in hell.

We had planned on going to Myrtle Beach and staying at the same hotel we've stayed at before. No oceanfront rooms available. (sigh)...

So, we discussed going to Virginia Beach. Neither of us have been there. But...it's also going to be sortakinda bike week there. And, we don't have a bike. Unless you count his Trek and my old Huffy.

And I dont think those count...

So we talked about Florida. Panama City, not having gone there before either. Long drive. Fly to Miami? He doesn't want to stay in South Beach and Key West? Well...a hurricane is heading that way...again. (I get enough hot air here at the house. I don't need a hurricane thankyouverymuch.)

He mentioned driving to Niagara Falls and then take off from there, driving...and driving...and driving...each day. OhIdontthinkso. Eight hours a day in a car (even my jeep) is not a vacation. Packing, unpacking. nawwwww...

I wouldn't mind going to the New England states. My one and only trip there was for 3 days - and I really didnt get to see near as much as I would have like to. It's gorgeous there. But, for some reason he seems to have mentioned it and forgotten it. ohwellhell.

So, now he is back to thinking Myrtle Beach. Only it's up to me to find a hotel and when I think I've found one...well, he finds something wrong with it. Too far north, too far south, too expensive, etc etc...

Motel 6? Alone...with the Travel Channel. hmmmmmm

They do leave the light on for you. :)

Bathrooms....

I hate cleaning bathrooms.

Well, wait...I guess I should clarify that.

I hate cleaning a bathroom used by a grown man and his teenage son.

Today it was cleaned. Yes, it happens often, but sometimes I feel not often enough...Like every couple hours maybe?

The sink went well. Scrubbed it good and it was all nice and shiney. Even the faucets. No water spots. Scrubbed the toothbrush holder and soap dish too. Even cleaned the drippings on the liquid soap bottle.

The tub - I hate shower doors. You have to stretch around them to get to the faucet to wet the scrubbie sponge when you are scrubbing the other end. Thankgod no one walked in while I was like that. My ass was up in the air - one leg stretched out and twisted in some odd shape up around my neck - but I did notice one thing...I have a completely flat stomach when positioned like that.

But the tub, and the shower doors, are clean. I even put up a new curtain liner. Why you ask when there are shower doors?

Because I live with two people who happen to be of the male species type and they will still soak the floor if there isn't a curtain and a liner. Trust me on this one.

Even the red white and blue shag carpet was swept, and a fresh bath mat put down.

But there it sat - calling to me. Growing larger and larger and its voice get deeper and deeper.

CLEAN ME!

Noooooo please don't make me go near it! It's got stuff on it under that seat! No please, I'll do anything but that! Anything! (and I do mean anything.)

There sat the toilet. In all its digusting glory.

I hate cleaning toilets.

Now it wasn't so bad when I had my own place with my own bathroom. I know how to pee IN the toilet. I don't get hair and, well, stuff..all over the rim. And, thankgod I turn on the light at night so I can see to put the seat down....Lord only knows what kind of disease I would get if I sat on that rim.

And I had to clean it.

I put on rubber gloves that go to my shoulders, my son's old fishing waders, my old yellow raincoat that Mom used to make me wear, a welders helmet, respirator and a blow torch.

I was ready.

After 6 hours and 35 minutes I am proud to say it was CLEAN!

Yes, it sparkled and shined and even smelled good.

For five minutes.

It's been used. The seat is up...and....damn.

I swear, I am gonna start throwing cheerio's in there. Will give them something to aim at....I hope.

I need a vacation...

Yes, I need a vacation.

Bad. Mucho bad.

However, there seems to be some question as to where we might go.

And if we might go.

We haven't been anywhere, not even a little weekend trip together, in over a year. A whole year (plus 2 months!) since I've seen the ocean. (big sigh inserted here)

A trip to Myrtle Beach was discussed and I was getting excited (yes, old...errr...mature women DO get excited!) then the dates were changed. Ok ok...still going, no problem.

Then he got an email from his sister in law. They are going to Vegas in November. So now he wants to go there...too.

I can't do both. One or the other only. Can't afford the trip to the ocean (sun..surf...dolphins...cabana boys!) and a flight, food and fun in Vegas (cha ching!).

What to do...what to do....

The ocean with its sand and waves and warmth. Relaxing on the beach and drinking strawberry daquiries. Getting tan...exposing my flesh to the sun....(now its not THAT scary!!...well, then again...nevermind).

Las Vegas. Lights, noise, fun and laughter. Watching money go into machines over and over...but dreaming of the big win.

I asked him (rather, I emailed him) yesterday which he wanted to do. I haven't gotten an answer yet (arghhhhhhhhh).

Maybe he'll go to Vegas without me.

Maybe there will be no ocean trip.

Maybe I'll go stay at a Motel 6 and watch the Travel Channel for a weekend.

I gave in....

I am an idiot.

I gave in.

I got a cell phone - with a two year plan.

ARGGHHH....

Oh, I had one of those little pay as you go type phones. It was my valentines present three years ago (sooooo very romantic eh?). I can't complain actually, it came in very handy when my son was in the explosion and I spent a lot of time in Michigan at the hospital.

I spent many an hour reading this website and that website, trying to compare plans and coverage and roaming and nights and weekends and contract this and contract that and cancellation clauses and and and....

But I had to make up my mind - fast. My little pay type phone thingie was running out today and I didn't want to put more money into it.

And, at exactly 2:39 AM this morning - the little sombitch beeped with a text message to tell me that I needed to reup or it was gonna die.

It's lucky I didn't flush it down the toilet.

So Sunday afternoon I stopped at the local radio type shack place (I don't want to give any one company a plug here geesh)...and got a new phone. Stayed with the same company as the little pay as you go type phone thingie.

It weighs 3.2 ounces. Is so little. It's a flip thingie with a camera. And the book of instructions for it is 8-1/2 x 11 and 12" thick. I had to use their 2 wheeler to get it out to the jeep.

(Yes, I am one of those commie pinko, gas hog loving jeep drivers - excuse me, my burst of political bullshit there.) (Oh, and please note the extreme sarcasm with that statement.)

I brought the phone home...drug in the book (I think I threw out my back) and the roomies 16 yr old son showed me how to use it after I sat and tried to figure out how to place a call for 6 hours.

It has a phone book, voice dialing, web browser, special ring tones, a calculator and stop watch, alarm clock, tip calculator, world clock, media gallery, text messaging, and a camera with a zoom lense.....oh, and the animation of a little girl chasing a phone when it rings.

ohforgodssake....

All of this so I can call my son and not put long distance calls on the roomies phone bill.

One of the girls I work with summed it up quite nicely. "Just give me a phone that all I have to do is dial it".

Can't someone make a phone like that anymore?

It's calling my name...

Candy that is. Skittles, Hershey Kisses, cinnamon hearts...

Oh, and ice cream.

And everything else I do not need to be eating.

I am trying to lose 10 lbs. Ohhhhh I know, 10 pounds! Big deal! BUT, I've been on the other side. I was a very large woman at one time. I can't and won't let myself do it again (I can't afford the new clothes I'd need!).

This laying on that damned red white and blue 30 yr old shag carpet to zip my jeans in the morning is getting old - FAST!

Yes, I was a big girl. When I was 17 my mother bought me a yellow pant suit. (Remember those polyester things?). Yellow. I hate yellow. I looked like a giant banana in that thing.

You couldn't miss me that was for sure.

And I played volleyball. Here I was, 230 lbs wearing a bright purple jersey and white shorts. When I walked onto the court, the girls hid in fear. Not of my playing abilities, but because of my size. Maybe that's how I helped to win games for the team, the other team was afraid I would sit on them if they won.

But I lost the weight. 100 lbs. Wasn't easy, and I have the utmost respect for anyone that can and does diet and succeed.

I've kept it off for a lot of years. More than I want to mention (in case that cute kid in the parking garage is reading this). But lately it seems to be harder to keep off. Especially when I hear those voices....

Go to the candy aisle....

Sandy...it's Baby Ruth IceCream. I'm in the freezer, I'm cold! Eat me and put me out of my misery!

Ok, so I ate it last night.

I didn't eat it all! I shared! But now it's gone and so is the chocolate syrup. ThankGod.

I have been trying to exercise more. Running up and down the stairs a lot. (Those are my bones creaking - not the stairs.) Working out in the yard, sweating. But, my ass is still there. (Who came up with that saying about sweating your ass off anyway?)

Ten pounds. Just ten pounds. That's all I want to lose. I am eating a lot of salad and all the good stuff for my meals.

But those voices...

It's hell when you are a certified chocoholic.

Can't someone, anyone, make candy that has no sugar, fat or calories that taste good?

arrrghhh....

Excuse me...time to go lay on that shag carpet and put my jeans on...(sigh)

Friday night...and TV sucks

So I will write.

Hmmm..what to write about.

I could turn this into a Mommyblog. Nope. Not a Mommy. I am now a "Mom". He would get really odd looks if he called me Mommy. My kid is about 6'1", 220 lbs. and 23 yrs old.

Nope.

I could talk politics!

Nope. Ain't even going there.

Religion?

Me? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor. HAHAHAHAHA (climbing back up into chair....it's hell trying to type from the floor.)

Nope.

Sex?

Well, I could but, sex?...hmmm. Anyone have a dictionary?

The roomie?

Ah ha...the roomie.

Actually, the roomie is a man I met online almost 7 long years ago. We used to go places and do things and have so much fun.

Please notice I said "used to".

Today? Well, have book will sit and read...forever, always, continually.

He does get in his hot tub every night. But, its not really a hot tub right now. He turned off the heat. (It cost money ya know.) This is the same man used to put a plastic milk crate in his sons swimming pool, sit on it and drink beer.

He has owned this house for about 20 yrs. It has the same red white and blue SHAG carpet in the bathroom that was here when he moved in.

(Can you say bonfire material?)

He tore off the tile behind the bathroom sink...4 years ago.

I think he used to like that sex stuff. But, I'm not sure. (Where in the hell is that dictionary?)

He doesn't dance. Well, unless you count the wiggle thing he does in front of the TV to certain commercial music.

He won't give me his social security number to put him on my car insurance. I think he is afraid of identify theft. (Yes, I am going to sell that number on ebay so others can buy a milk crate to sit in their swimming pool.)

Ok...ok...

So who do you think will win the world series?

I AM a lustful wench!

Ohhh to be about 20 years younger.

Really.

I would probably grab that cute little construction guy and drag him behind the parked cars in the parking lot at work.

Yes, I would.

He wears tight jeans, white t-shirt, work boots and his ballcap.

He has a gorgeous smile.

And I am old enough to be his mother.

ACKKKK!

When in the hell did this happen?????????????? Who is that woman that stares at me in the mirror in the morning???? (ohgod! MY EYES! My eyes! The horror!)

Or the guy in the elevator. He has to be 6'8" or more. I think I come up to his navel and I am 5'7".

He seems to be about 30, dark hair, not a bad build (nice thighs...or so it seems thru those dockers).

And he smells good.

And I am probably old enough to be HIS mother!

ARRRGHHHH!

(Why are all the nice looking, good smelling, attractive guys in my office building so young??....fan me please...QUICK!)

If I tried to stand with my hip slanted out, just so, like I used to when younger, or walk with a slight sashay type motion - they would probably ask me if I needed help or if I was in pain.

Ok...I admit it. I am a lustful wench.

I am an OLD lustful wench.

But I ain't dead yet :)

Consumers and Lawyers and Scammers...ohmy

Today one of the girls was off work which meant I got to help answer public phone lines. I get to talk to consumers, companies and just people in general who have gotten caught up in something, or have thought about getting caught up in something.

Example...

Within 10 minutes today I had two calls given to me. Both men. Both had received letters in the mail stating they had won a lottery! (Wow! Amazing when they both stated they hadn't even entered one!) Both of these lotteries originated in Canada. (Ooops! Not Spain?) Both men got checks from the lottery agents! OHMY! Both checks were for $3,980!!! (Hmmmm...wonder who this person is that owns this account? And why is the bank in New Hampshire? oh, and the other is from a bank in California!)

Both men were told in the letters not to tell anyone about their prize winnings until they receive their final checks. (shhhh...it's a secret you know) And, both were told to cash the $3,980 check and send it BACK to the lottery agent to cover fee's that are established by INTERNATIONAL and FEDERAL law! (I was not aware that the United Nations established laws concerning lotteries!) They were to send the money via Western Union or MoneyGram to men in Canada (not a company mind you, just a person).

The first caller sat quietly while I explained the fraud to him. He understood and thanked me for my information. He faxed me copies of the paperwork and the check he had received. He also tore up the check while we were on the phone. (Good boy!)

The second caller asked a lot of questions. Said he even worked for the FBI at one time (coughcough). Said the check had no typo's on it ( :x ). I was on the phone with this gentleman for approximately 20-25 minutes explaining how Foreign Lotteries are illegal in the United States. How, if he has truly won something it costs him nothing (until Uncle Sam gets his share - next year at tax time). No fee's, no insurance, no processing costs. Nothing, nada, zilch...zip. Told him how if he sends the money via Western Union, etc. that it can be picked up by anyone - anywhere. Not necessarily in Canada. We talked, and talked, and talked (and I begged and pleaded for him not to cash that check). I explained that the check WOULD be returned and HE would be responsbile to pay back the bank (if they didn't press charges!).

He finally agreed with me.

He finally faxed me copies of everything. (Yes, there were typo's on the check.)

I sat there staring at the fax cover sheet for a long time - and finally burst out laughing.

You see, this man - the second caller, is a lawyer. His name was on the letterhead as one of the partners of the firm.

No, I have no idea what type of law he practices. So I will cut him a little slack.

Maybe.

Common sense?

That's a whole other story :)

A pause for thanks

I wanted to take a moment and say thanks to all the kind folks who have posted comments on my blog. It still amazes me that these silly little thoughts that pop into my head, and I put them into words on a screen - can make someone smile. But, it makes me feel SO good. If I can make just one person smile today, it's worth everything I go through. Period. Thank you all for making MY day!

I'm a lustful wench???

Me?

The Mom of a 23 yr old son, a lustful wench?

Me, the woman that didn't date for 14 longgggggg years? (That's a whole other story I may share someday.)

Me, the woman that lives with a man who smokes during sex (and I am not talking from body friction here folks!).

Yes! It's true!

Darn it all to heck! (Ohhell...damnitalltohell...there, I said it.)

I am a lustful old wench.

I admit it! I like to look!

What started this you ask? Well, a dear friend of mine had the idea to ask people in a forum what physical attribute on another person will make them turn their head. And it got me to thinking. (I am not drooling!)

Ok, so I like tall men. Nothing against shorter men mind you (I love them all actually), but I have this, well, thing for tall men. And, guys with nice thighs. Oh yes, a nice shaped, strong thigh.

(Excuse me, it is getting warm in here?)

And a great smile. The real kind.

Age? Doesn't matter. I can appreciate an older man just as much as a younger one. I'm not picky that way.

They can all make me lus...errrr...appreciative.

Oh I know - that's sexist! (Yea, like you guys haven't drooled over a nice pair of legs or a big set of boo...well, higher than legs. And I KNOW I'm not the only woman on this planet to appreciate a nice tush!)

(Anyone have a fan?)

And, they don't have to be half naked. Not at all. Give me a guy in a nice fitting pair of jeans, long sleeved shirt (with the sleeves partially pushed up the arm) and a pair of boots and...well...

(Can someone turn up the air please?)

It doesn't make me a bad person! I like to look!

Come on, admit it, you like to look too. We are human after all.

Ok, I have to go. I think, no I know, I need a shower.

A cold one.

Things I've learned today...

Yes, I am an older woman. Not old yet (although there are times when I am getting out of bed and my bones creak and hurt that I feel old) but getting there - someday. But, just because I am more "mature" than some doesn't mean I don't like to learn new things.

So, today I went surfing blogs - again. And, here is some of what I have learned:

Chester A. Arthur was our 21st President from 1881 - 1895. (He probably wasn't re-elected because of his name. You know people had to tease him about his name being so similar to Chester Cheetah of Cheestos fame.)

Being a girly person is a lot of f**king work. Her words, not mine - although I have been known to use the word (please see previous post about the "F" word).

Wal-Mart is evil.

Someone (sorry, I don't name names...not even screen names) farted during sex.

It's 2008 and the world is in chaos. (ohmygod!!! We are doomed! RUN! RUN! Oh wait, wait..its 2005 and the world IS in chaos!)

The princess got her panties in a wad and called someone an ass! (ACCK! And here I thought the princess was so pure and kind...coughcoughwheeeezecoughcough)

It's not Monday. (Whew...thought I'd lost a day somewhere)

The Government can take your land!!! (Oh..I don't have to worry, I own no land.)

Somewhere the sky is really blue and that same somewhere has some really weird flowers growing there.

Someone farted in a bathroom next to a conference room while a meeting was going on. (Beano, its called Beano.)

So yes, I learned some things today.

I am now a better person.

And what to my wandering eyes did appear?

I've been doing a lot of surfing on blogexplosion this last week. I have seen some amazing blogs. There are some extremely talented people out there in this world of ours! But today I decided to jump on for a few minutes during lunch break (which I normally don't take, but hey, it's Friday) and everything was fine, til...ohmy...is that what I think it is??? It couldn't be! Really? Is it??? Yep. It definitely was what I thought.

It was a vagina.

In living color.

Ohmy. That's what it was alright.

And I wasn't even reading "The Vagina Monologs".

Ok, now I'm not a prude. I love (absolutely love) sex and all the fun stuff that goes with it. (loveitloveit..but thats another story.) But, when I am sitting at my desk, sneaking a few minutes of fun into my day - reading this mommy blog and that political blog, and some about rock music and some young woman who likes to hike, the gay couple who adopted their little girl, a young boy and his RC Truck...and WHAM! There it is! Right there at the top of the site (which, it says, belongs to a married man with two kids who just happens to like to screw around with women other than his wife).

You couldn't miss it if you tried.

Ok, maybe I would have felt a little different had it been part of the male anatomy (ok, I WOULD have felt different!) but it was lunchtime forgodssake! Thank God I wasn't eating chicken noodle soup. I would have probably spit it all over my monitor! And had I been eating mexican food, well...I'm just not even going to go there.

I think I sat there stunned for a moment or two then frantically realized I was at WORK and someone, anyone, could walk into my office at any moment and see this vagina on my monitor! I started shuffling papers around, looking for the scotch tape to cover the screen with papers. I had to cover that thing up! (Good lord girl, put some panties on!) DeleteDelete (damn! didn't work!) Escape! Escape! (they will see me if I go running screaming from my office!) I thought about running out yelling "HELP!! I was doing my work and suddenly a VAGINA popped up on my screen and I can't get rid of it!" But I quickly realized no one could help me. I am the IT person in the office!

I stopped shuffling papers, took a couple deep breaths and asked myself, "What would my son do if I suddenly walked in on him looking at vagina's?"...and then it hit me -HIT THE "X" IN THE CORNER OF THE SCREEN!

It was gone!

I stood up, did a little happy dance (got a strange look from the admin assistant as she walked past my office) and sat back down.

Thus, the end of my surfing blogs at lunchtime. Never again. Nope, no more. My heart can't handle it.

What a nice surprise :)

I DID have a few very nice comments on my blog the last two days. Somehow I missed them at first this morning, and then had another nice comment when I logged on tonight.

Thank you all :)

I understand that not everyone thinks like me (thankgodforsmallfavors..you, dear reader, should be thrilled at that!) And, like my dear ole Pop used to say, "If everyone were alike, it would be a boring f**king world." (Yes, Dad said the "F" word on occasion too.)

Ok, let's see - what happened to me today? Work...work...and more work. Like an idiot I volunteered to do a major display for an upcoming show - in three weeks. So today I sorted through my file cabinets and all the scam information I have (yeah me! I sorted it all out just a month or so ago so I CAN find things!) I have information on work-at-home scams, foreign lottery scams, fake invoicing, advanced fee loan scams, charity scams, sweepstakes scams, selling online scams (with counterfeit checks even!) AND...the PRECIOUS PEARL OF WISDOM! That one just amazes me. I am going to get a nice little display case and spotlight for it.

The Precious Pearl of Wisdom was scotch taped to a letter from an organization. You are supposed to hold it in your hand (its so little you will lose it if not careful) and pray. Then, you return the pearl in the envelope supplied (post NOT prepaid) along with $25 and ALL OF YOUR WISHES WILL COME TRUE!

I just can't believe I haven't mailed it and my $25 back in yet! I could have everything I've ever wanted and dreamed about! I could share with my family and friends! I could be RICH!

(Please note, that was scarcasm there.)

I have all the designs in my head, and will do some work on my trusty old PSP9 for it. Lot's of typing ahead. Thankgod I haven't broken any fingernails lately because when I do I can't type worth a darn. (Yes, I am a girly girl in that respect, I have long nails - real ones.)

But, work can wait for the night. I put in my ten hours today. I put in a minimum of ten hours there everyday during the week actually. I will hit good old Wal-Mart tomorrow after work to get some foam board (I know, I have seen some of the blogs and postings on forums about the hatred some have for Wal-Mart, but geesh, you can't beat the prices - especially when you are a poor old lady like me.)

(Feeling sorry for me yet? No? Good!)

The roommate (that's what I call him now) is off playing golf tonight. His son is (where else?) in his room. So, tonights my night off! No cooking! No laundry! I've already talked to my boy - twice. Short conversations both, but he will call me later tonight. He called last night in a foul mood. He uses me for his sounding board, and its ok. I told him as long as he throws in an occassional "I love you Mom" I can handle it. He's not happy with the girlfriend, or his Dad. His attorney sent him 28 pages of questions that the insurance company needs answered (Someday I'll tell about the explosion and how it changed my son's life.) Didn't get his vacation check (he got it today - once again, thankgodforsmallfavors!). So, he called just to have someone to let it all out too. I had him laughing by the end of the conversation, so it ended well.

Well, that's it for now. Will probably post again later tonight. I've been making notes of all the man things my roommate says and does - for my book. Will probably sell a million copies because I know a lot of women will probably relate to the stories. (What's that old joke about men being lined up when God was handing out brains, and the roomie thought he said trains, and told God "I'll pass on this one.")

Men...gotta love em.

Thursday morning...

Well, I guess it wasn't funny as I thougt it might be. It just struck me that day that I do use the word, and I know others do. I hear it all the time. And, I am deeply aware that not everyone will like what I write. That's ok too. Everyone has an opinion and that is just fine with me. Life goes on. I do however very much appreciate some of the comments I received. It's good to know I'm not the only one who pops up with a good one on occassion!

Maybe I'll just stick to writing about my life and adventures, afterall it's what I named this blog. And lord knows that I get myself into some situations that some people may find very funny. How I do it I sometimes wonder myself.

Off to another day at the office.

Maybe I'll find my sense of humor there. Ohhell...I doubt it!

Do I have a sense of humor??

I guess not. Thought I had a little bit of one. But, it appears no one appreciated my last post. Guess they didn't detect my sense of humor.

Unless..(pause for affect inserted here)..I don't have one!!

Did I lose it somewhere? Did I ever have one? (Please don't tell me that for all these years, people have been laughing AT me instead of WITH me! ARRGH!)

It's ok I guess. I will just pout for a while and move on. May or may not enter another challenge. (sniff sniff, feeling sorry for me yet?)

Heck, at least someone reads my blog when I enter one! So, maybe I will get up the nerve to try again. (still searching for that sense of humor I think I used to have....not under the puter desk...damn) Maybe I need to surf some more blogs to see what others are writing about...what people like to read.

But it won't be politics...I don't discuss those often. Nor will it be religion. To each his own I say there.

Maybe I could write a story about the guy I live with...hmmmmm...have a title in mind. Could be a help book for young women. "If you meet a man like this one...RUN THE OTHER WAY!!!" Yep, could write that.

Ohmy, are these artistic thoughts running through my brain or am I just fooling myself again? Only one way to find out :)

The "F" Word...

Yes, I say it.

The big one.

Not "fudge", and not "fart".

I mean the BIG one. THE "F" word.

Oh I know, ladies don't say that word! OHHHHH yes we do! And we use it correctly!

There are times when "ohshit", as good as it is, just doesn't cut it. And, "ohpoop" definitely won't get the message across. Forget "shucky durn" - that only works if you are five and Mom is standing next to you.

Yes, I get nasty looks at times. Ohwellhell...like they haven't popped up with it a time or two in their life?

Trust me, sometimes nothing but nothing gets the point across like a good ole "F**K!!!!!" (Especially when you are wearing good clothes, have to crawl under someones desk to work on their PC, getting all dirty, raise up and hit your head on the corner of the desk or the desk drawer...)

It's appropriate at that time don't ya think?

I do use a good old "bite me" at times, or throw in an occassional "bite my ass" for good measure. But when you are angry, really ticked off...what is more fitting than a great big "F**K YOU!" (Well, to be honest an occassional "eat shit and die" does work).

Ok, I admit it. I have a foul mouth. But there are a couple of the seven dirty words you can't say on TV (cable is another story) that even I don't say, unless you get me REALLY pissed off, but that is rare and a whole other story.

Thank God I don't live with Mom anymore. Ivory soap scraped on your teeth is not a good thing. And, Mom says it on occassion too, so we would both be eating soap - a lot.

The "F" word.

All kinds of things come to mind just at the mention of it huh?

ACCCK! A challenge!

(yes, I accck too)

I signed up for my first challenge. Why?? Ohwell, should be fun :)

Moody Monday....me? moody?

I'm tired. It's been a long day.

Actually yesterday was a long day. Was in the car for over 8 hrs. This old body can't handle those trips anymore! Got back to the house about 8:30 and was in bed by 10. Yep, old age does that to you. But it was worth it. (big smile inserted here)

My son came down for the day to see my Mom and I. We all went out to eat and had fun. Took some wonderful pics of the two of them together. Leaving him last evening was hard though, as he will start working 7/12's in about 3 wks. and it will last til Christmas. So, I don't think I will get to see him until then. He said he may get an occassional Sunday off, so I can come up then (and he wants me to work on his computer! HA! knew there was a catch!) so I will go, gladly.

The membership director and I had a talk today. I like her as a person, but the woman is dumber than a box of rocks when it comes to the job I do, and what I need her assistant to do. She has gone through 5 women (yes, 5) in the last 2 yrs. And the one they have now is a...well, I'll be nice...waste. Tell me please what is so hard about taking a paper thats in front of you with names, addresses, etc and entering that data into a computer where it says name: address:.... If only she would quit trying to speed through it so she can chat on her instant messenger (that I have deleted from her computer 3 times now). Anyway, the blame is put onto me because I want the data entered correctly so I dont have to spend hours fixing it and then telling them what all I had to fix (in writing) so they can show the girl who should have done it right the first time. (goodlord does that make sense?) The data entry being done correctly is VERY important. Our data is available on the website within 5 minutes of entry, and our council checks our data constantly to make sure we are reporting things correctly.

Ok, so I am a perfectionist when it comes to my job. Shoot me (please).

Another Saturday night....

I've been sitting here surfing blogs. Unbelievable what all is out there. SO many political sites (yuck - sorry!). Saw quite a few that peeked my interest, gave me a smile or two. And I found out I am not the only one in the world that talks to myself on a computer!

Ok, so its Saturday night. Didn't do much today, typical grocery store, laundry thing. Went to a farm place that sells veggies. We did shishkabobs on the grill tonight and actually turned out pretty good.

But there is this damned Baby Ruth Ice Cream down in the freezer calling my name.

Stopit! Stopit! I can't! I won't....ohhell, I probably will.

I haven't heard from my kid tonight about tomorrow. Just called and left a message for him. He is probably with that girl. The one he says is a...well, I won't repeat it. She wants him, but says they don't have a relationship. He is crazy about her, and he says she is just plain crazy. Arrrghhhhh....

Ok Mom, calm down. He is a big boy now...He can make decisions on his own (I just pray that when he starts working 6-7 days a week soon that she runs off AGAIN and finds someone new). I know, I shouldn't be that way - but I am tired of hearing my son be sad. He deserves to be happy and with someone that makes him happy and that he can make happy.

HA! Me discussing relationships! LOLOLOL...sorry have to laugh.

I told the guy I live with (almost 7 yrs now, no we are not married nor engaged. May cover that another time.) that I had a dream about him the other night and had he been in bed when I woke up I probably would have decked him. I dreamt I walked into a house (no clue where this house was, never seen it before) walked into a bedroom and there he was sprawled out on the bed...and someone I know (related) was in the room with him. He thought it was funny, told me that I need to keep a watch on that girl (and I should watch her because??????).

Maybe I dreamt it because we have become more roommates than anything the last two years?

But I would have probably decked him if he hadn't been in the other room on his computer (at 3:30 in the morning). No, I don't ask what he was doing...

Ok, so if my son can still come down tomorrow, I will be leaving here about 6 in the morning. Will be a long day, but I don't mind at all. Will be good, will be very good.

Trading spaces has gotten weird. Used to really like it, but its changed. Still not sure I like it anymore. And lord knows there isn't much on tv on Saturday nights. (He is downstairs, reading - again...still...always.)

I guess I will fire up the ole PSP9 and play a bit. I have discovered I can post pics on here so may even try to find one of me to scare you who dare to read my post.

Always wanted to be pretty. Maybe at one time I was. Now? OHHHHH I don't think so. I'm just me.

Well, thats it for tonight - maybe. Probably won't post tomorrow unless I get back early. May be a long day, but thats ok. Time with my boy and my Mom. I can't wait.

Time will tell...

My son is coming home this Sunday to visit. I am thrilled. Yet, he just called in tears. We are going to visit with my Mom, and he is so scared that it will be his last time with her. I pray not. I went to see her after work tonight and we talked and laughed. She gave me some things - bells. Its funny, the psychic I saw back in 1979 told me she saw bells and had no idea what it meant.

We will have fun Sunday. Will go out to eat like we used to when my boy was little and have some fun. I will take pictures and cherish them forever. When we leave will not be easy, especially for my boy and my mom.

Time goes too quickly. Wasn't it just yesterday that he was putting spagheti o's in his hair, starting kindergarten, playing soccer? Wasn't it just last week that Mom and I would get on the bus and ride downtown? Our special time together.

Where does it go? Who is this woman I see in the mirror now? Will my son talk of me to his children with the love I have for my mother?

Time will tell...

Hump Day...survived another one (whew!)

Ahhhh survived another day.

One good thing came of it tho, I am going up to Michigan this weekend to see my son. Then we are coming back to Ohio to visit my Mom. He wants to spend the day with her because he will start working some extremely long hours soon and won't be able to come down for a visit. Soooo I get two more days this month with my kid!! YEAH ME!

I think I forgot to warn you dear reader, that sometimes my posts can be very sarcastic (as if you haven't seen that yet). NOT when talking about my boy tho. But..life in general? Yep.

Today at work, my desk buried - literally - piles of work sitting there and I didnt feel like doing a thing. But, as usual I worked from 7-5, no lunch. A couple smoke breaks (yes - I do the nasty tobacco thing). And, like a complete idiot I volunteered to do a "wall of scams" at an upcoming show. I have one month to prepare. I can do this....I can do this...ohhell, can I do this? I have all the basic information I need - plenty of things sent in to me from people all over the country. Now I just need to organize it, display it and write up some descriptions on what they are, and what to do if you get caught up in one. Small task? Idontthinkso. But I'll do it. I am one of these people that thrives on a challenge. This is my new one. I like to add a little humor into what I do, so I am going to get a special display case for the "sacred red thread" and the "pearl of wisdom". (coughcough) And I am going to do one "whats wrong with this check?" type of thing. Let people try to figure out what is wrong with the deal and the check. We'll see how it goes.

I've been sitting and playing majong garden. Keeps my brain busy, and well, me too since he is in "his" room on his puter, his son is in that room of his and I have no one to talk to - so I play games, write, post in a forum, and play with paint shop pro. I love that damned program. I like to try and create things, not sure how good I am (people have told me my work is good). I need to update my website. I have a lot more pictures I can post. I LOVE taking pictures. Hate to be in them, but love to take them. Scenery mostly, also love to take pictures of kids - when they don't know they are being photographed. You can see a story in their eyes.

Well, thats about it for tonight. I'm tired. And, 4:50 am comes early (yes, thats when I get up.) Goodnite.

Two-fer Tuesday?

Tuesday...hmmmm. Had a talk with one of my two bosses today. He's cool, not a bad guy. We are about the same age, have a lot of the same likes/dislikes. We discussed the office and the "strategic plan" they are coming up with. I laughed, he did too. He told me what ticked him off, which is odd, this man never gets upset - unlike someone else I know (ok, ok...its me!). He admits morale is very low in the office right now, and once again its been overlooked. Sigh...(yea, I do that too.)

Anyway...

I have to tell you about this guy I live with (yes, I am a sinner, sorry). Well, maybe I should start with a little background first:

Met my ex is 1979, got married in 1981, had son in 1982..left now ex in 1983, divorce was finalized in 1984. (Yes, the summary was about as brief as the marriage.) He was not a nice man, violent even, but...thats done. I did get a great kid out of it, and for that I am forever thankful. Let's see now...oh, I went out on a couple dates AFTER the divorce with a guy I worked with, we ended up realizing we made better friends than lovers. I decided not to date for a while (little did I know it would be 14 yrs before I dated again.) I concentrated on working, raising my boy and giving him a good life. It was my decision, right or wrong.

In 1995 I discovered this thing called the internet. Made so many friends, and actually a new "fambly". Love them all dearly to this day (yes we see each other - more on that another time perhaps...ohhh the stories I can tell!). And, yep, posted a personal ad! (GASP! SNORT! GASP AGAIN!) Ohboy, did I meet men! Some wanted maids, some wanted...well, you know what they wanted.. I had fun. Simple as that. I was still working hard, raising my son, and also having some fun.

Then...I got this email. For some reason it seemed different. We chatted online, talked on the phone amd then finally met for lunch. I thought he didnt like me. Got in my car after, shrugged my shoulders and said "ohwell" and went back to work. Was surprised when he called that night saying he wanted to see me again.

That was almost 7 yrs ago. I moved in with him 4 yrs ago today. My son had graduated high school and moved to Michigan to try and start his life and get to know his Dad better. So, I sold my home (I still miss it...terribly) and moved in.

AAAAAAAARGHHHHHHH (sorry, warned ya in my last post - I arrrgh on occassion)

I care for this man. I truly do. But ohgoodlord...

We are such total opposites. At first we went out a lot, movies, theatre etc. He took me to Florida for my very first time. We did a lot together. Now? Well, he sits and reads (which isnt a bad thing - but ALL the time?) We don't talk much - well, at least about things other than golf, football, baseball and the weather.

He does call me everyday in the afternoon. Usually to see what I have planned for dinner (maid? did someone say maid?) I end up telling him (a lot actually) that I hadnt really thought of dinner when I left at 6:30 in the morning (when I want to tell him "I dont know, what are YOU fixing??" or "Dinner? You want dinner? Is that the meal that people eat in the evenings?" or..."How about Mickey D's?") Sometimes he will say "We'll make it a grab bag night" (where everyone is supposed to just fix themselves something)...I hate those nights. His son (I forgot to mention he has a 16 yr old son who eats nothing, likes nothing and sits in his room for days on end) lives with us. He will fix himself ramen. Then I am stuck figuring out what to fix for us. When I lived alone, or with my son, I usually munched down on raw veggies while playing on the puter - can't do that now. ohwell.

Anyway I don't always grump about him. I have some stories to share about him but I know your eyes are probably crossing by now (they will NOT get stuck, trust me..Mom lied about that). So, I'll stop - may write more later. Afterall, it is two-fer Tuesday.

Monday...bloody Monday....it's almost over

I haven't taken the time to explain myself yet. Hmmmm...where to start? Good lord I have no idea. Well, I have one son, he's 23 and lives in Michigan (nothing against Michigan mind you, but WHY IN THE HELL DID HE HAVE TO MOVE THERE????) He's a 3rd year apprentice for a union up there, making more money than his mother, so I guess it's ok .

And I am still trying to figure out how to do this darned thing. It doesn't want to accept a return to make another paragraph...grrrrrr...(yes, I growl on occassion). Anyway, maybe someday I'll figure it out. No, I'm not stupid...just don't want to take the time to search to find the answers.

It's been a Monday for sure. Oh, I didn't explain my job did I? Well, I work for a national nonprofit organization. I am the IT/MIS/peon type person. I do all the stuff no one else wants to do. One part of my job that I do like is the investigations I get to do. I get to play on the computer and search to find out things about people, companies, scams...and that neat stuff. The part I don't like? Well, please don't take this wrong - but it's talking to people with NO common sense. None, zilch, zip, nada. I have yet to understand why people call us for advice, or to find out if a company is legit or if they have really won $500,000 - and then don't want to listen to what you have to say. If only I had a dollar for everytime I hear someone say "But they told me......!" ARRRGH!!!!!!! (yes, I arghhh too) I would be a wealthy woman...well, maybe not wealthy, but better off than I am.

Ok ok, enough grumping for today. I have survived another Monday at least (ok, it's only 8:30, the day isn't over). Tomorrow will be better...yes it will be. Gotta be...Please?

Sunday...Sunday....Sunday...

Ok, this is my first try at this - here anyway. Have a "journal" on AOL, and the darned thing never lets me edit it half the time. So, a friend has one here and thought I'd give it a shot.

I went up to visit Mom today. For those of you who don't know me well, my Mom is my best friend. She just turned 82 a couple weeks ago and is a little tiny Greek woman. (Actually Greek and Cherokee Indian. Quite a mix eh?) Mom has helped me through so much in my life. She is an amazing woman. Life has been rough on her, even lately. She just finished treatments for breast cancer, has had 4 strokes...and keeps on going. She lost her husband of 48 yrs, has lost two children, yet she always has a smile and a kind word for anyone and everyone.

She told me today that my father came to her the other day (my father passed in 1989) and told her it was time for her to come and join him, my brother and my sister. She told him she isn't ready yet, that she still has things to do and things she wants to see. One being, she wants to see my son find love and get married. When she had her last strokes she told me later she had many conversations with him. I believe her. It scares me though. I'm not ready to lose her yet. I know it's a part of life, and we should expect it - doesn't mean I have to like it. Yes, I know she is 82, yes I know she has been ill - doesn't mean she is ready to go, and I'm not ready to let her. I will when the time comes. I will continue to talk to her and share my life with her. But my heart will be broken and I will miss her hugs.