I've been sitting here surfing blogs. Unbelievable what all is out there. SO many political sites (yuck - sorry!). Saw quite a few that peeked my interest, gave me a smile or two. And I found out I am not the only one in the world that talks to myself on a computer!
Ok, so its Saturday night. Didn't do much today, typical grocery store, laundry thing. Went to a farm place that sells veggies. We did shishkabobs on the grill tonight and actually turned out pretty good.
But there is this damned Baby Ruth Ice Cream down in the freezer calling my name.
Stopit! Stopit! I can't! I won't....ohhell, I probably will.
I haven't heard from my kid tonight about tomorrow. Just called and left a message for him. He is probably with that girl. The one he says is a...well, I won't repeat it. She wants him, but says they don't have a relationship. He is crazy about her, and he says she is just plain crazy. Arrrghhhhh....
Ok Mom, calm down. He is a big boy now...He can make decisions on his own (I just pray that when he starts working 6-7 days a week soon that she runs off AGAIN and finds someone new). I know, I shouldn't be that way - but I am tired of hearing my son be sad. He deserves to be happy and with someone that makes him happy and that he can make happy.
HA! Me discussing relationships! LOLOLOL...sorry have to laugh.
I told the guy I live with (almost 7 yrs now, no we are not married nor engaged. May cover that another time.) that I had a dream about him the other night and had he been in bed when I woke up I probably would have decked him. I dreamt I walked into a house (no clue where this house was, never seen it before) walked into a bedroom and there he was sprawled out on the bed...and someone I know (related) was in the room with him. He thought it was funny, told me that I need to keep a watch on that girl (and I should watch her because??????).
Maybe I dreamt it because we have become more roommates than anything the last two years?
But I would have probably decked him if he hadn't been in the other room on his computer (at 3:30 in the morning). No, I don't ask what he was doing...
Ok, so if my son can still come down tomorrow, I will be leaving here about 6 in the morning. Will be a long day, but I don't mind at all. Will be good, will be very good.
Trading spaces has gotten weird. Used to really like it, but its changed. Still not sure I like it anymore. And lord knows there isn't much on tv on Saturday nights. (He is downstairs, reading - again...still...always.)
I guess I will fire up the ole PSP9 and play a bit. I have discovered I can post pics on here so may even try to find one of me to scare you who dare to read my post.
Always wanted to be pretty. Maybe at one time I was. Now? OHHHHH I don't think so. I'm just me.
Well, thats it for tonight - maybe. Probably won't post tomorrow unless I get back early. May be a long day, but thats ok. Time with my boy and my Mom. I can't wait.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Time will tell...
My son is coming home this Sunday to visit. I am thrilled. Yet, he just called in tears. We are going to visit with my Mom, and he is so scared that it will be his last time with her. I pray not. I went to see her after work tonight and we talked and laughed. She gave me some things - bells. Its funny, the psychic I saw back in 1979 told me she saw bells and had no idea what it meant.
We will have fun Sunday. Will go out to eat like we used to when my boy was little and have some fun. I will take pictures and cherish them forever. When we leave will not be easy, especially for my boy and my mom.
Time goes too quickly. Wasn't it just yesterday that he was putting spagheti o's in his hair, starting kindergarten, playing soccer? Wasn't it just last week that Mom and I would get on the bus and ride downtown? Our special time together.
Where does it go? Who is this woman I see in the mirror now? Will my son talk of me to his children with the love I have for my mother?
Time will tell...
We will have fun Sunday. Will go out to eat like we used to when my boy was little and have some fun. I will take pictures and cherish them forever. When we leave will not be easy, especially for my boy and my mom.
Time goes too quickly. Wasn't it just yesterday that he was putting spagheti o's in his hair, starting kindergarten, playing soccer? Wasn't it just last week that Mom and I would get on the bus and ride downtown? Our special time together.
Where does it go? Who is this woman I see in the mirror now? Will my son talk of me to his children with the love I have for my mother?
Time will tell...
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Hump Day...survived another one (whew!)
Ahhhh survived another day.
One good thing came of it tho, I am going up to Michigan this weekend to see my son. Then we are coming back to Ohio to visit my Mom. He wants to spend the day with her because he will start working some extremely long hours soon and won't be able to come down for a visit. Soooo I get two more days this month with my kid!! YEAH ME!
I think I forgot to warn you dear reader, that sometimes my posts can be very sarcastic (as if you haven't seen that yet). NOT when talking about my boy tho. But..life in general? Yep.
Today at work, my desk buried - literally - piles of work sitting there and I didnt feel like doing a thing. But, as usual I worked from 7-5, no lunch. A couple smoke breaks (yes - I do the nasty tobacco thing). And, like a complete idiot I volunteered to do a "wall of scams" at an upcoming show. I have one month to prepare. I can do this....I can do this...ohhell, can I do this? I have all the basic information I need - plenty of things sent in to me from people all over the country. Now I just need to organize it, display it and write up some descriptions on what they are, and what to do if you get caught up in one. Small task? Idontthinkso. But I'll do it. I am one of these people that thrives on a challenge. This is my new one. I like to add a little humor into what I do, so I am going to get a special display case for the "sacred red thread" and the "pearl of wisdom". (coughcough) And I am going to do one "whats wrong with this check?" type of thing. Let people try to figure out what is wrong with the deal and the check. We'll see how it goes.
I've been sitting and playing majong garden. Keeps my brain busy, and well, me too since he is in "his" room on his puter, his son is in that room of his and I have no one to talk to - so I play games, write, post in a forum, and play with paint shop pro. I love that damned program. I like to try and create things, not sure how good I am (people have told me my work is good). I need to update my website. I have a lot more pictures I can post. I LOVE taking pictures. Hate to be in them, but love to take them. Scenery mostly, also love to take pictures of kids - when they don't know they are being photographed. You can see a story in their eyes.
Well, thats about it for tonight. I'm tired. And, 4:50 am comes early (yes, thats when I get up.) Goodnite.
One good thing came of it tho, I am going up to Michigan this weekend to see my son. Then we are coming back to Ohio to visit my Mom. He wants to spend the day with her because he will start working some extremely long hours soon and won't be able to come down for a visit. Soooo I get two more days this month with my kid!! YEAH ME!
I think I forgot to warn you dear reader, that sometimes my posts can be very sarcastic (as if you haven't seen that yet). NOT when talking about my boy tho. But..life in general? Yep.
Today at work, my desk buried - literally - piles of work sitting there and I didnt feel like doing a thing. But, as usual I worked from 7-5, no lunch. A couple smoke breaks (yes - I do the nasty tobacco thing). And, like a complete idiot I volunteered to do a "wall of scams" at an upcoming show. I have one month to prepare. I can do this....I can do this...ohhell, can I do this? I have all the basic information I need - plenty of things sent in to me from people all over the country. Now I just need to organize it, display it and write up some descriptions on what they are, and what to do if you get caught up in one. Small task? Idontthinkso. But I'll do it. I am one of these people that thrives on a challenge. This is my new one. I like to add a little humor into what I do, so I am going to get a special display case for the "sacred red thread" and the "pearl of wisdom". (coughcough) And I am going to do one "whats wrong with this check?" type of thing. Let people try to figure out what is wrong with the deal and the check. We'll see how it goes.
I've been sitting and playing majong garden. Keeps my brain busy, and well, me too since he is in "his" room on his puter, his son is in that room of his and I have no one to talk to - so I play games, write, post in a forum, and play with paint shop pro. I love that damned program. I like to try and create things, not sure how good I am (people have told me my work is good). I need to update my website. I have a lot more pictures I can post. I LOVE taking pictures. Hate to be in them, but love to take them. Scenery mostly, also love to take pictures of kids - when they don't know they are being photographed. You can see a story in their eyes.
Well, thats about it for tonight. I'm tired. And, 4:50 am comes early (yes, thats when I get up.) Goodnite.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Two-fer Tuesday?
Tuesday...hmmmm. Had a talk with one of my two bosses today. He's cool, not a bad guy. We are about the same age, have a lot of the same likes/dislikes. We discussed the office and the "strategic plan" they are coming up with. I laughed, he did too. He told me what ticked him off, which is odd, this man never gets upset - unlike someone else I know (ok, ok...its me!). He admits morale is very low in the office right now, and once again its been overlooked. Sigh...(yea, I do that too.)
Anyway...
I have to tell you about this guy I live with (yes, I am a sinner, sorry). Well, maybe I should start with a little background first:
Met my ex is 1979, got married in 1981, had son in 1982..left now ex in 1983, divorce was finalized in 1984. (Yes, the summary was about as brief as the marriage.) He was not a nice man, violent even, but...thats done. I did get a great kid out of it, and for that I am forever thankful. Let's see now...oh, I went out on a couple dates AFTER the divorce with a guy I worked with, we ended up realizing we made better friends than lovers. I decided not to date for a while (little did I know it would be 14 yrs before I dated again.) I concentrated on working, raising my boy and giving him a good life. It was my decision, right or wrong.
In 1995 I discovered this thing called the internet. Made so many friends, and actually a new "fambly". Love them all dearly to this day (yes we see each other - more on that another time perhaps...ohhh the stories I can tell!). And, yep, posted a personal ad! (GASP! SNORT! GASP AGAIN!) Ohboy, did I meet men! Some wanted maids, some wanted...well, you know what they wanted.. I had fun. Simple as that. I was still working hard, raising my son, and also having some fun.
Then...I got this email. For some reason it seemed different. We chatted online, talked on the phone amd then finally met for lunch. I thought he didnt like me. Got in my car after, shrugged my shoulders and said "ohwell" and went back to work. Was surprised when he called that night saying he wanted to see me again.
That was almost 7 yrs ago. I moved in with him 4 yrs ago today. My son had graduated high school and moved to Michigan to try and start his life and get to know his Dad better. So, I sold my home (I still miss it...terribly) and moved in.
AAAAAAAARGHHHHHHH (sorry, warned ya in my last post - I arrrgh on occassion)
I care for this man. I truly do. But ohgoodlord...
We are such total opposites. At first we went out a lot, movies, theatre etc. He took me to Florida for my very first time. We did a lot together. Now? Well, he sits and reads (which isnt a bad thing - but ALL the time?) We don't talk much - well, at least about things other than golf, football, baseball and the weather.
He does call me everyday in the afternoon. Usually to see what I have planned for dinner (maid? did someone say maid?) I end up telling him (a lot actually) that I hadnt really thought of dinner when I left at 6:30 in the morning (when I want to tell him "I dont know, what are YOU fixing??" or "Dinner? You want dinner? Is that the meal that people eat in the evenings?" or..."How about Mickey D's?") Sometimes he will say "We'll make it a grab bag night" (where everyone is supposed to just fix themselves something)...I hate those nights. His son (I forgot to mention he has a 16 yr old son who eats nothing, likes nothing and sits in his room for days on end) lives with us. He will fix himself ramen. Then I am stuck figuring out what to fix for us. When I lived alone, or with my son, I usually munched down on raw veggies while playing on the puter - can't do that now. ohwell.
Anyway I don't always grump about him. I have some stories to share about him but I know your eyes are probably crossing by now (they will NOT get stuck, trust me..Mom lied about that). So, I'll stop - may write more later. Afterall, it is two-fer Tuesday.
Anyway...
I have to tell you about this guy I live with (yes, I am a sinner, sorry). Well, maybe I should start with a little background first:
Met my ex is 1979, got married in 1981, had son in 1982..left now ex in 1983, divorce was finalized in 1984. (Yes, the summary was about as brief as the marriage.) He was not a nice man, violent even, but...thats done. I did get a great kid out of it, and for that I am forever thankful. Let's see now...oh, I went out on a couple dates AFTER the divorce with a guy I worked with, we ended up realizing we made better friends than lovers. I decided not to date for a while (little did I know it would be 14 yrs before I dated again.) I concentrated on working, raising my boy and giving him a good life. It was my decision, right or wrong.
In 1995 I discovered this thing called the internet. Made so many friends, and actually a new "fambly". Love them all dearly to this day (yes we see each other - more on that another time perhaps...ohhh the stories I can tell!). And, yep, posted a personal ad! (GASP! SNORT! GASP AGAIN!) Ohboy, did I meet men! Some wanted maids, some wanted...well, you know what they wanted.. I had fun. Simple as that. I was still working hard, raising my son, and also having some fun.
Then...I got this email. For some reason it seemed different. We chatted online, talked on the phone amd then finally met for lunch. I thought he didnt like me. Got in my car after, shrugged my shoulders and said "ohwell" and went back to work. Was surprised when he called that night saying he wanted to see me again.
That was almost 7 yrs ago. I moved in with him 4 yrs ago today. My son had graduated high school and moved to Michigan to try and start his life and get to know his Dad better. So, I sold my home (I still miss it...terribly) and moved in.
AAAAAAAARGHHHHHHH (sorry, warned ya in my last post - I arrrgh on occassion)
I care for this man. I truly do. But ohgoodlord...
We are such total opposites. At first we went out a lot, movies, theatre etc. He took me to Florida for my very first time. We did a lot together. Now? Well, he sits and reads (which isnt a bad thing - but ALL the time?) We don't talk much - well, at least about things other than golf, football, baseball and the weather.
He does call me everyday in the afternoon. Usually to see what I have planned for dinner (maid? did someone say maid?) I end up telling him (a lot actually) that I hadnt really thought of dinner when I left at 6:30 in the morning (when I want to tell him "I dont know, what are YOU fixing??" or "Dinner? You want dinner? Is that the meal that people eat in the evenings?" or..."How about Mickey D's?") Sometimes he will say "We'll make it a grab bag night" (where everyone is supposed to just fix themselves something)...I hate those nights. His son (I forgot to mention he has a 16 yr old son who eats nothing, likes nothing and sits in his room for days on end) lives with us. He will fix himself ramen. Then I am stuck figuring out what to fix for us. When I lived alone, or with my son, I usually munched down on raw veggies while playing on the puter - can't do that now. ohwell.
Anyway I don't always grump about him. I have some stories to share about him but I know your eyes are probably crossing by now (they will NOT get stuck, trust me..Mom lied about that). So, I'll stop - may write more later. Afterall, it is two-fer Tuesday.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Monday...bloody Monday....it's almost over
I haven't taken the time to explain myself yet. Hmmmm...where to start? Good lord I have no idea. Well, I have one son, he's 23 and lives in Michigan (nothing against Michigan mind you, but WHY IN THE HELL DID HE HAVE TO MOVE THERE????) He's a 3rd year apprentice for a union up there, making more money than his mother, so I guess it's ok .
And I am still trying to figure out how to do this darned thing. It doesn't want to accept a return to make another paragraph...grrrrrr...(yes, I growl on occassion). Anyway, maybe someday I'll figure it out. No, I'm not stupid...just don't want to take the time to search to find the answers.
It's been a Monday for sure. Oh, I didn't explain my job did I? Well, I work for a national nonprofit organization. I am the IT/MIS/peon type person. I do all the stuff no one else wants to do. One part of my job that I do like is the investigations I get to do. I get to play on the computer and search to find out things about people, companies, scams...and that neat stuff. The part I don't like? Well, please don't take this wrong - but it's talking to people with NO common sense. None, zilch, zip, nada. I have yet to understand why people call us for advice, or to find out if a company is legit or if they have really won $500,000 - and then don't want to listen to what you have to say. If only I had a dollar for everytime I hear someone say "But they told me......!" ARRRGH!!!!!!! (yes, I arghhh too) I would be a wealthy woman...well, maybe not wealthy, but better off than I am.
Ok ok, enough grumping for today. I have survived another Monday at least (ok, it's only 8:30, the day isn't over). Tomorrow will be better...yes it will be. Gotta be...Please?
And I am still trying to figure out how to do this darned thing. It doesn't want to accept a return to make another paragraph...grrrrrr...(yes, I growl on occassion). Anyway, maybe someday I'll figure it out. No, I'm not stupid...just don't want to take the time to search to find the answers.
It's been a Monday for sure. Oh, I didn't explain my job did I? Well, I work for a national nonprofit organization. I am the IT/MIS/peon type person. I do all the stuff no one else wants to do. One part of my job that I do like is the investigations I get to do. I get to play on the computer and search to find out things about people, companies, scams...and that neat stuff. The part I don't like? Well, please don't take this wrong - but it's talking to people with NO common sense. None, zilch, zip, nada. I have yet to understand why people call us for advice, or to find out if a company is legit or if they have really won $500,000 - and then don't want to listen to what you have to say. If only I had a dollar for everytime I hear someone say "But they told me......!" ARRRGH!!!!!!! (yes, I arghhh too) I would be a wealthy woman...well, maybe not wealthy, but better off than I am.
Ok ok, enough grumping for today. I have survived another Monday at least (ok, it's only 8:30, the day isn't over). Tomorrow will be better...yes it will be. Gotta be...Please?
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Sunday...Sunday....Sunday...
Ok, this is my first try at this - here anyway. Have a "journal" on AOL, and the darned thing never lets me edit it half the time. So, a friend has one here and thought I'd give it a shot.
I went up to visit Mom today. For those of you who don't know me well, my Mom is my best friend. She just turned 82 a couple weeks ago and is a little tiny Greek woman. (Actually Greek and Cherokee Indian. Quite a mix eh?) Mom has helped me through so much in my life. She is an amazing woman. Life has been rough on her, even lately. She just finished treatments for breast cancer, has had 4 strokes...and keeps on going. She lost her husband of 48 yrs, has lost two children, yet she always has a smile and a kind word for anyone and everyone.
She told me today that my father came to her the other day (my father passed in 1989) and told her it was time for her to come and join him, my brother and my sister. She told him she isn't ready yet, that she still has things to do and things she wants to see. One being, she wants to see my son find love and get married. When she had her last strokes she told me later she had many conversations with him. I believe her. It scares me though. I'm not ready to lose her yet. I know it's a part of life, and we should expect it - doesn't mean I have to like it. Yes, I know she is 82, yes I know she has been ill - doesn't mean she is ready to go, and I'm not ready to let her. I will when the time comes. I will continue to talk to her and share my life with her. But my heart will be broken and I will miss her hugs.
I went up to visit Mom today. For those of you who don't know me well, my Mom is my best friend. She just turned 82 a couple weeks ago and is a little tiny Greek woman. (Actually Greek and Cherokee Indian. Quite a mix eh?) Mom has helped me through so much in my life. She is an amazing woman. Life has been rough on her, even lately. She just finished treatments for breast cancer, has had 4 strokes...and keeps on going. She lost her husband of 48 yrs, has lost two children, yet she always has a smile and a kind word for anyone and everyone.
She told me today that my father came to her the other day (my father passed in 1989) and told her it was time for her to come and join him, my brother and my sister. She told him she isn't ready yet, that she still has things to do and things she wants to see. One being, she wants to see my son find love and get married. When she had her last strokes she told me later she had many conversations with him. I believe her. It scares me though. I'm not ready to lose her yet. I know it's a part of life, and we should expect it - doesn't mean I have to like it. Yes, I know she is 82, yes I know she has been ill - doesn't mean she is ready to go, and I'm not ready to let her. I will when the time comes. I will continue to talk to her and share my life with her. But my heart will be broken and I will miss her hugs.
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