Little things I've noticed lately...

I had to work yesterday. We had a "consumer expo" and I had a huge display there. Part of it consisted of a scam about a pearl. I noticed this one older woman, probably early to mid 70's. She walked up and was reading a lot of the information on the display - concerning recent scams in the area, etc. She smiled at me and I smiled back. Then she proceeded to try to turn her back on me, and stole the black velvet bag I had laying there with the pearl displayed on it. Oh no, she didn't take the pearl...just MY black velvet bag.

A 70+ yr old woman attending an expo about scams and schemes...and she is a clepto!

I was stunned. I wanted to walk up to her and say "Ma'am, that is my bag you just put in your plastic bag", but I didn't. I was afraid she would start hollering rape or accuse me of trying to rob her. Wouldn't have looked good since we were hosting the expo. And...the media was there.

I really wanted to knock that cane out of her other hand.

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Last night I entered a blog challenge. I haven't done a lot of these, but once in a while I figure ohwhatthehell. A person took me up on my challenge rather quickly and I noticed a few votes were placed rather quickly. Hmmmm. I looked at the challengers site and profile as I usually do and noticed the person had four blogs. Hmmmm again. The challenge was over within an hour and (sniffsniff) I was defeated. I clicked on the list to see who voted....

And I noticed..yep...the names they use to register their other blogs. They had voted for themself...a few times.

I didn't feel so bad about the loss. I didn't cheat and vote for myself.

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I've been watching all the weather coverage about the hurricane due to hit the New Orleans and surrounding areas. I feel so bad for all the people there and the hell they are going through and will go through.

But I also noticed...idiots. Yes, idiots. Big ones.

Massive huge waves pounding the coast lines. Winds blowing and tree's bending. And there, in front of the camera, walks a man....like he is just taking a leisurely stroll. RUN YOU STUPID SOMBITCH! A Hurricane is coming! We aren't talking Category 1 or even 2 here - it's a big one! To quote Randy Quaid in some dumb movie that I can't remember the name..."A SHIT CLOUD IS ACOMIN!"

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I've also noticed that I love old people (well, except the one that stole my velvet bag!). My Mom is 82 and has such a wonderful outlook on life. Enjoy it while you can, love all you can...and laugh as much as you can. She has developed a wristwatch fetish in the last year. I think she now has somewhere along the lines of 325 of them. Ok, so I might be stretching the truth...a little. But she has at least 30..all different shapes and colors. Her eyes light up when we pass a jewelry counter with watches. So we always stop and if she wants one - we get it. She gets such joy from a cheap little $9.95 watch. And me? I get joy watching her eyes light up and the smile on her face.

I didn't know her...

Yet my heart cries for her, and for her family.

I visit a lot of forums on the net, and over time have seen many postings about a young girl and her battle with cancer. A child, a mere 12 yrs on this earth. She lost her fight last night. A strong and valiant fight was fought, but God said the fighting was done. It was time for the child to rest, to be at peace.

No, I didn't know her, but I have seen how many hearts this child has touched. It amazes me, yet it doesn't.

In my job I see so much of the bad side of life, people cheating people, using others for their own personal gain. It makes one feel sad about the state of the world at times.

And then I see the posts of people from around the world to the family of this child and I feel their tears. And I know, there are still wonderful people out there. There are still people who care. People who have a heart and love and share.

And this child, the beautiful little girl, helped those people to see, hear, feel and love.

She has a special place in heaven. And her family has a place in my heart.

Where are my flip flops????

I need my flip flops! My shorts! T-shirts and tank tops! And yes - my swimsuit!

I'm going to the ocean!

HOT DAMN!

Two weeks from Sunday, September 11th we are leaving for Myrtle Beach, SC. Yeah! Whoopee! (Just be real glad you can not see me jumping up and down here..it's not a pretty sight.)

I made him sit down tonight and listen to me describe some hotels...and give me his credit card. We have a reservation!

Now, a word to all the weathermen out there - NO HURRICANES! I want sand, surf, SUN! My legs glow in the dark forgodssake! I need some color!

And sharks listen up! I will hit your damned nose so hard you will be looking out your tush if you get near me. Dolphins are safe, even ugly fish...just no fish with big sharp teeth. I am old, I am tough and I will not taste good. Trust me on this one.

Seven days...seven WHOLE days. Count em...1234567...NO WORK for over a week! The computers can fry for all I care. Virus' can invade the CEO's computer and the main server. I will not be there to fix them. (Can you tell I have not had any time off all year?) My cell phone will not be answering calls from the office, sorry. (Bless you caller ID.)

An oceanfront suite with a balcony (no, I wont toss him off...well, maybe). 5 pools (who uses a pool when they have an ocean in front of them??) a work out room (HA! excuse me while I laugh!) and even free breakfast.

I am ready. I have my towel, my sun lotion and my flip flops (they were in the bottom of the closet) and I am ready.

Cabana boy, bring me my drink!

Vacation Planning 101...and 102...and...

We are supposed to leave September 11th.

Supposed to...

Where are we going?

We have no idea in hell.

We had planned on going to Myrtle Beach and staying at the same hotel we've stayed at before. No oceanfront rooms available. (sigh)...

So, we discussed going to Virginia Beach. Neither of us have been there. But...it's also going to be sortakinda bike week there. And, we don't have a bike. Unless you count his Trek and my old Huffy.

And I dont think those count...

So we talked about Florida. Panama City, not having gone there before either. Long drive. Fly to Miami? He doesn't want to stay in South Beach and Key West? Well...a hurricane is heading that way...again. (I get enough hot air here at the house. I don't need a hurricane thankyouverymuch.)

He mentioned driving to Niagara Falls and then take off from there, driving...and driving...and driving...each day. OhIdontthinkso. Eight hours a day in a car (even my jeep) is not a vacation. Packing, unpacking. nawwwww...

I wouldn't mind going to the New England states. My one and only trip there was for 3 days - and I really didnt get to see near as much as I would have like to. It's gorgeous there. But, for some reason he seems to have mentioned it and forgotten it. ohwellhell.

So, now he is back to thinking Myrtle Beach. Only it's up to me to find a hotel and when I think I've found one...well, he finds something wrong with it. Too far north, too far south, too expensive, etc etc...

Motel 6? Alone...with the Travel Channel. hmmmmmm

They do leave the light on for you. :)

Bathrooms....

I hate cleaning bathrooms.

Well, wait...I guess I should clarify that.

I hate cleaning a bathroom used by a grown man and his teenage son.

Today it was cleaned. Yes, it happens often, but sometimes I feel not often enough...Like every couple hours maybe?

The sink went well. Scrubbed it good and it was all nice and shiney. Even the faucets. No water spots. Scrubbed the toothbrush holder and soap dish too. Even cleaned the drippings on the liquid soap bottle.

The tub - I hate shower doors. You have to stretch around them to get to the faucet to wet the scrubbie sponge when you are scrubbing the other end. Thankgod no one walked in while I was like that. My ass was up in the air - one leg stretched out and twisted in some odd shape up around my neck - but I did notice one thing...I have a completely flat stomach when positioned like that.

But the tub, and the shower doors, are clean. I even put up a new curtain liner. Why you ask when there are shower doors?

Because I live with two people who happen to be of the male species type and they will still soak the floor if there isn't a curtain and a liner. Trust me on this one.

Even the red white and blue shag carpet was swept, and a fresh bath mat put down.

But there it sat - calling to me. Growing larger and larger and its voice get deeper and deeper.

CLEAN ME!

Noooooo please don't make me go near it! It's got stuff on it under that seat! No please, I'll do anything but that! Anything! (and I do mean anything.)

There sat the toilet. In all its digusting glory.

I hate cleaning toilets.

Now it wasn't so bad when I had my own place with my own bathroom. I know how to pee IN the toilet. I don't get hair and, well, stuff..all over the rim. And, thankgod I turn on the light at night so I can see to put the seat down....Lord only knows what kind of disease I would get if I sat on that rim.

And I had to clean it.

I put on rubber gloves that go to my shoulders, my son's old fishing waders, my old yellow raincoat that Mom used to make me wear, a welders helmet, respirator and a blow torch.

I was ready.

After 6 hours and 35 minutes I am proud to say it was CLEAN!

Yes, it sparkled and shined and even smelled good.

For five minutes.

It's been used. The seat is up...and....damn.

I swear, I am gonna start throwing cheerio's in there. Will give them something to aim at....I hope.

I need a vacation...

Yes, I need a vacation.

Bad. Mucho bad.

However, there seems to be some question as to where we might go.

And if we might go.

We haven't been anywhere, not even a little weekend trip together, in over a year. A whole year (plus 2 months!) since I've seen the ocean. (big sigh inserted here)

A trip to Myrtle Beach was discussed and I was getting excited (yes, old...errr...mature women DO get excited!) then the dates were changed. Ok ok...still going, no problem.

Then he got an email from his sister in law. They are going to Vegas in November. So now he wants to go there...too.

I can't do both. One or the other only. Can't afford the trip to the ocean (sun..surf...dolphins...cabana boys!) and a flight, food and fun in Vegas (cha ching!).

What to do...what to do....

The ocean with its sand and waves and warmth. Relaxing on the beach and drinking strawberry daquiries. Getting tan...exposing my flesh to the sun....(now its not THAT scary!!...well, then again...nevermind).

Las Vegas. Lights, noise, fun and laughter. Watching money go into machines over and over...but dreaming of the big win.

I asked him (rather, I emailed him) yesterday which he wanted to do. I haven't gotten an answer yet (arghhhhhhhhh).

Maybe he'll go to Vegas without me.

Maybe there will be no ocean trip.

Maybe I'll go stay at a Motel 6 and watch the Travel Channel for a weekend.

I gave in....

I am an idiot.

I gave in.

I got a cell phone - with a two year plan.

ARGGHHH....

Oh, I had one of those little pay as you go type phones. It was my valentines present three years ago (sooooo very romantic eh?). I can't complain actually, it came in very handy when my son was in the explosion and I spent a lot of time in Michigan at the hospital.

I spent many an hour reading this website and that website, trying to compare plans and coverage and roaming and nights and weekends and contract this and contract that and cancellation clauses and and and....

But I had to make up my mind - fast. My little pay type phone thingie was running out today and I didn't want to put more money into it.

And, at exactly 2:39 AM this morning - the little sombitch beeped with a text message to tell me that I needed to reup or it was gonna die.

It's lucky I didn't flush it down the toilet.

So Sunday afternoon I stopped at the local radio type shack place (I don't want to give any one company a plug here geesh)...and got a new phone. Stayed with the same company as the little pay as you go type phone thingie.

It weighs 3.2 ounces. Is so little. It's a flip thingie with a camera. And the book of instructions for it is 8-1/2 x 11 and 12" thick. I had to use their 2 wheeler to get it out to the jeep.

(Yes, I am one of those commie pinko, gas hog loving jeep drivers - excuse me, my burst of political bullshit there.) (Oh, and please note the extreme sarcasm with that statement.)

I brought the phone home...drug in the book (I think I threw out my back) and the roomies 16 yr old son showed me how to use it after I sat and tried to figure out how to place a call for 6 hours.

It has a phone book, voice dialing, web browser, special ring tones, a calculator and stop watch, alarm clock, tip calculator, world clock, media gallery, text messaging, and a camera with a zoom lense.....oh, and the animation of a little girl chasing a phone when it rings.

ohforgodssake....

All of this so I can call my son and not put long distance calls on the roomies phone bill.

One of the girls I work with summed it up quite nicely. "Just give me a phone that all I have to do is dial it".

Can't someone make a phone like that anymore?

It's calling my name...

Candy that is. Skittles, Hershey Kisses, cinnamon hearts...

Oh, and ice cream.

And everything else I do not need to be eating.

I am trying to lose 10 lbs. Ohhhhh I know, 10 pounds! Big deal! BUT, I've been on the other side. I was a very large woman at one time. I can't and won't let myself do it again (I can't afford the new clothes I'd need!).

This laying on that damned red white and blue 30 yr old shag carpet to zip my jeans in the morning is getting old - FAST!

Yes, I was a big girl. When I was 17 my mother bought me a yellow pant suit. (Remember those polyester things?). Yellow. I hate yellow. I looked like a giant banana in that thing.

You couldn't miss me that was for sure.

And I played volleyball. Here I was, 230 lbs wearing a bright purple jersey and white shorts. When I walked onto the court, the girls hid in fear. Not of my playing abilities, but because of my size. Maybe that's how I helped to win games for the team, the other team was afraid I would sit on them if they won.

But I lost the weight. 100 lbs. Wasn't easy, and I have the utmost respect for anyone that can and does diet and succeed.

I've kept it off for a lot of years. More than I want to mention (in case that cute kid in the parking garage is reading this). But lately it seems to be harder to keep off. Especially when I hear those voices....

Go to the candy aisle....

Sandy...it's Baby Ruth IceCream. I'm in the freezer, I'm cold! Eat me and put me out of my misery!

Ok, so I ate it last night.

I didn't eat it all! I shared! But now it's gone and so is the chocolate syrup. ThankGod.

I have been trying to exercise more. Running up and down the stairs a lot. (Those are my bones creaking - not the stairs.) Working out in the yard, sweating. But, my ass is still there. (Who came up with that saying about sweating your ass off anyway?)

Ten pounds. Just ten pounds. That's all I want to lose. I am eating a lot of salad and all the good stuff for my meals.

But those voices...

It's hell when you are a certified chocoholic.

Can't someone, anyone, make candy that has no sugar, fat or calories that taste good?

arrrghhh....

Excuse me...time to go lay on that shag carpet and put my jeans on...(sigh)

Friday night...and TV sucks

So I will write.

Hmmm..what to write about.

I could turn this into a Mommyblog. Nope. Not a Mommy. I am now a "Mom". He would get really odd looks if he called me Mommy. My kid is about 6'1", 220 lbs. and 23 yrs old.

Nope.

I could talk politics!

Nope. Ain't even going there.

Religion?

Me? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor. HAHAHAHAHA (climbing back up into chair....it's hell trying to type from the floor.)

Nope.

Sex?

Well, I could but, sex?...hmmm. Anyone have a dictionary?

The roomie?

Ah ha...the roomie.

Actually, the roomie is a man I met online almost 7 long years ago. We used to go places and do things and have so much fun.

Please notice I said "used to".

Today? Well, have book will sit and read...forever, always, continually.

He does get in his hot tub every night. But, its not really a hot tub right now. He turned off the heat. (It cost money ya know.) This is the same man used to put a plastic milk crate in his sons swimming pool, sit on it and drink beer.

He has owned this house for about 20 yrs. It has the same red white and blue SHAG carpet in the bathroom that was here when he moved in.

(Can you say bonfire material?)

He tore off the tile behind the bathroom sink...4 years ago.

I think he used to like that sex stuff. But, I'm not sure. (Where in the hell is that dictionary?)

He doesn't dance. Well, unless you count the wiggle thing he does in front of the TV to certain commercial music.

He won't give me his social security number to put him on my car insurance. I think he is afraid of identify theft. (Yes, I am going to sell that number on ebay so others can buy a milk crate to sit in their swimming pool.)

Ok...ok...

So who do you think will win the world series?

I AM a lustful wench!

Ohhh to be about 20 years younger.

Really.

I would probably grab that cute little construction guy and drag him behind the parked cars in the parking lot at work.

Yes, I would.

He wears tight jeans, white t-shirt, work boots and his ballcap.

He has a gorgeous smile.

And I am old enough to be his mother.

ACKKKK!

When in the hell did this happen?????????????? Who is that woman that stares at me in the mirror in the morning???? (ohgod! MY EYES! My eyes! The horror!)

Or the guy in the elevator. He has to be 6'8" or more. I think I come up to his navel and I am 5'7".

He seems to be about 30, dark hair, not a bad build (nice thighs...or so it seems thru those dockers).

And he smells good.

And I am probably old enough to be HIS mother!

ARRRGHHHH!

(Why are all the nice looking, good smelling, attractive guys in my office building so young??....fan me please...QUICK!)

If I tried to stand with my hip slanted out, just so, like I used to when younger, or walk with a slight sashay type motion - they would probably ask me if I needed help or if I was in pain.

Ok...I admit it. I am a lustful wench.

I am an OLD lustful wench.

But I ain't dead yet :)

Consumers and Lawyers and Scammers...ohmy

Today one of the girls was off work which meant I got to help answer public phone lines. I get to talk to consumers, companies and just people in general who have gotten caught up in something, or have thought about getting caught up in something.

Example...

Within 10 minutes today I had two calls given to me. Both men. Both had received letters in the mail stating they had won a lottery! (Wow! Amazing when they both stated they hadn't even entered one!) Both of these lotteries originated in Canada. (Ooops! Not Spain?) Both men got checks from the lottery agents! OHMY! Both checks were for $3,980!!! (Hmmmm...wonder who this person is that owns this account? And why is the bank in New Hampshire? oh, and the other is from a bank in California!)

Both men were told in the letters not to tell anyone about their prize winnings until they receive their final checks. (shhhh...it's a secret you know) And, both were told to cash the $3,980 check and send it BACK to the lottery agent to cover fee's that are established by INTERNATIONAL and FEDERAL law! (I was not aware that the United Nations established laws concerning lotteries!) They were to send the money via Western Union or MoneyGram to men in Canada (not a company mind you, just a person).

The first caller sat quietly while I explained the fraud to him. He understood and thanked me for my information. He faxed me copies of the paperwork and the check he had received. He also tore up the check while we were on the phone. (Good boy!)

The second caller asked a lot of questions. Said he even worked for the FBI at one time (coughcough). Said the check had no typo's on it ( :x ). I was on the phone with this gentleman for approximately 20-25 minutes explaining how Foreign Lotteries are illegal in the United States. How, if he has truly won something it costs him nothing (until Uncle Sam gets his share - next year at tax time). No fee's, no insurance, no processing costs. Nothing, nada, zilch...zip. Told him how if he sends the money via Western Union, etc. that it can be picked up by anyone - anywhere. Not necessarily in Canada. We talked, and talked, and talked (and I begged and pleaded for him not to cash that check). I explained that the check WOULD be returned and HE would be responsbile to pay back the bank (if they didn't press charges!).

He finally agreed with me.

He finally faxed me copies of everything. (Yes, there were typo's on the check.)

I sat there staring at the fax cover sheet for a long time - and finally burst out laughing.

You see, this man - the second caller, is a lawyer. His name was on the letterhead as one of the partners of the firm.

No, I have no idea what type of law he practices. So I will cut him a little slack.

Maybe.

Common sense?

That's a whole other story :)

A pause for thanks

I wanted to take a moment and say thanks to all the kind folks who have posted comments on my blog. It still amazes me that these silly little thoughts that pop into my head, and I put them into words on a screen - can make someone smile. But, it makes me feel SO good. If I can make just one person smile today, it's worth everything I go through. Period. Thank you all for making MY day!

I'm a lustful wench???

Me?

The Mom of a 23 yr old son, a lustful wench?

Me, the woman that didn't date for 14 longgggggg years? (That's a whole other story I may share someday.)

Me, the woman that lives with a man who smokes during sex (and I am not talking from body friction here folks!).

Yes! It's true!

Darn it all to heck! (Ohhell...damnitalltohell...there, I said it.)

I am a lustful old wench.

I admit it! I like to look!

What started this you ask? Well, a dear friend of mine had the idea to ask people in a forum what physical attribute on another person will make them turn their head. And it got me to thinking. (I am not drooling!)

Ok, so I like tall men. Nothing against shorter men mind you (I love them all actually), but I have this, well, thing for tall men. And, guys with nice thighs. Oh yes, a nice shaped, strong thigh.

(Excuse me, it is getting warm in here?)

And a great smile. The real kind.

Age? Doesn't matter. I can appreciate an older man just as much as a younger one. I'm not picky that way.

They can all make me lus...errrr...appreciative.

Oh I know - that's sexist! (Yea, like you guys haven't drooled over a nice pair of legs or a big set of boo...well, higher than legs. And I KNOW I'm not the only woman on this planet to appreciate a nice tush!)

(Anyone have a fan?)

And, they don't have to be half naked. Not at all. Give me a guy in a nice fitting pair of jeans, long sleeved shirt (with the sleeves partially pushed up the arm) and a pair of boots and...well...

(Can someone turn up the air please?)

It doesn't make me a bad person! I like to look!

Come on, admit it, you like to look too. We are human after all.

Ok, I have to go. I think, no I know, I need a shower.

A cold one.

Things I've learned today...

Yes, I am an older woman. Not old yet (although there are times when I am getting out of bed and my bones creak and hurt that I feel old) but getting there - someday. But, just because I am more "mature" than some doesn't mean I don't like to learn new things.

So, today I went surfing blogs - again. And, here is some of what I have learned:

Chester A. Arthur was our 21st President from 1881 - 1895. (He probably wasn't re-elected because of his name. You know people had to tease him about his name being so similar to Chester Cheetah of Cheestos fame.)

Being a girly person is a lot of f**king work. Her words, not mine - although I have been known to use the word (please see previous post about the "F" word).

Wal-Mart is evil.

Someone (sorry, I don't name names...not even screen names) farted during sex.

It's 2008 and the world is in chaos. (ohmygod!!! We are doomed! RUN! RUN! Oh wait, wait..its 2005 and the world IS in chaos!)

The princess got her panties in a wad and called someone an ass! (ACCK! And here I thought the princess was so pure and kind...coughcoughwheeeezecoughcough)

It's not Monday. (Whew...thought I'd lost a day somewhere)

The Government can take your land!!! (Oh..I don't have to worry, I own no land.)

Somewhere the sky is really blue and that same somewhere has some really weird flowers growing there.

Someone farted in a bathroom next to a conference room while a meeting was going on. (Beano, its called Beano.)

So yes, I learned some things today.

I am now a better person.

And what to my wandering eyes did appear?

I've been doing a lot of surfing on blogexplosion this last week. I have seen some amazing blogs. There are some extremely talented people out there in this world of ours! But today I decided to jump on for a few minutes during lunch break (which I normally don't take, but hey, it's Friday) and everything was fine, til...ohmy...is that what I think it is??? It couldn't be! Really? Is it??? Yep. It definitely was what I thought.

It was a vagina.

In living color.

Ohmy. That's what it was alright.

And I wasn't even reading "The Vagina Monologs".

Ok, now I'm not a prude. I love (absolutely love) sex and all the fun stuff that goes with it. (loveitloveit..but thats another story.) But, when I am sitting at my desk, sneaking a few minutes of fun into my day - reading this mommy blog and that political blog, and some about rock music and some young woman who likes to hike, the gay couple who adopted their little girl, a young boy and his RC Truck...and WHAM! There it is! Right there at the top of the site (which, it says, belongs to a married man with two kids who just happens to like to screw around with women other than his wife).

You couldn't miss it if you tried.

Ok, maybe I would have felt a little different had it been part of the male anatomy (ok, I WOULD have felt different!) but it was lunchtime forgodssake! Thank God I wasn't eating chicken noodle soup. I would have probably spit it all over my monitor! And had I been eating mexican food, well...I'm just not even going to go there.

I think I sat there stunned for a moment or two then frantically realized I was at WORK and someone, anyone, could walk into my office at any moment and see this vagina on my monitor! I started shuffling papers around, looking for the scotch tape to cover the screen with papers. I had to cover that thing up! (Good lord girl, put some panties on!) DeleteDelete (damn! didn't work!) Escape! Escape! (they will see me if I go running screaming from my office!) I thought about running out yelling "HELP!! I was doing my work and suddenly a VAGINA popped up on my screen and I can't get rid of it!" But I quickly realized no one could help me. I am the IT person in the office!

I stopped shuffling papers, took a couple deep breaths and asked myself, "What would my son do if I suddenly walked in on him looking at vagina's?"...and then it hit me -HIT THE "X" IN THE CORNER OF THE SCREEN!

It was gone!

I stood up, did a little happy dance (got a strange look from the admin assistant as she walked past my office) and sat back down.

Thus, the end of my surfing blogs at lunchtime. Never again. Nope, no more. My heart can't handle it.

What a nice surprise :)

I DID have a few very nice comments on my blog the last two days. Somehow I missed them at first this morning, and then had another nice comment when I logged on tonight.

Thank you all :)

I understand that not everyone thinks like me (thankgodforsmallfavors..you, dear reader, should be thrilled at that!) And, like my dear ole Pop used to say, "If everyone were alike, it would be a boring f**king world." (Yes, Dad said the "F" word on occasion too.)

Ok, let's see - what happened to me today? Work...work...and more work. Like an idiot I volunteered to do a major display for an upcoming show - in three weeks. So today I sorted through my file cabinets and all the scam information I have (yeah me! I sorted it all out just a month or so ago so I CAN find things!) I have information on work-at-home scams, foreign lottery scams, fake invoicing, advanced fee loan scams, charity scams, sweepstakes scams, selling online scams (with counterfeit checks even!) AND...the PRECIOUS PEARL OF WISDOM! That one just amazes me. I am going to get a nice little display case and spotlight for it.

The Precious Pearl of Wisdom was scotch taped to a letter from an organization. You are supposed to hold it in your hand (its so little you will lose it if not careful) and pray. Then, you return the pearl in the envelope supplied (post NOT prepaid) along with $25 and ALL OF YOUR WISHES WILL COME TRUE!

I just can't believe I haven't mailed it and my $25 back in yet! I could have everything I've ever wanted and dreamed about! I could share with my family and friends! I could be RICH!

(Please note, that was scarcasm there.)

I have all the designs in my head, and will do some work on my trusty old PSP9 for it. Lot's of typing ahead. Thankgod I haven't broken any fingernails lately because when I do I can't type worth a darn. (Yes, I am a girly girl in that respect, I have long nails - real ones.)

But, work can wait for the night. I put in my ten hours today. I put in a minimum of ten hours there everyday during the week actually. I will hit good old Wal-Mart tomorrow after work to get some foam board (I know, I have seen some of the blogs and postings on forums about the hatred some have for Wal-Mart, but geesh, you can't beat the prices - especially when you are a poor old lady like me.)

(Feeling sorry for me yet? No? Good!)

The roommate (that's what I call him now) is off playing golf tonight. His son is (where else?) in his room. So, tonights my night off! No cooking! No laundry! I've already talked to my boy - twice. Short conversations both, but he will call me later tonight. He called last night in a foul mood. He uses me for his sounding board, and its ok. I told him as long as he throws in an occassional "I love you Mom" I can handle it. He's not happy with the girlfriend, or his Dad. His attorney sent him 28 pages of questions that the insurance company needs answered (Someday I'll tell about the explosion and how it changed my son's life.) Didn't get his vacation check (he got it today - once again, thankgodforsmallfavors!). So, he called just to have someone to let it all out too. I had him laughing by the end of the conversation, so it ended well.

Well, that's it for now. Will probably post again later tonight. I've been making notes of all the man things my roommate says and does - for my book. Will probably sell a million copies because I know a lot of women will probably relate to the stories. (What's that old joke about men being lined up when God was handing out brains, and the roomie thought he said trains, and told God "I'll pass on this one.")

Men...gotta love em.

Thursday morning...

Well, I guess it wasn't funny as I thougt it might be. It just struck me that day that I do use the word, and I know others do. I hear it all the time. And, I am deeply aware that not everyone will like what I write. That's ok too. Everyone has an opinion and that is just fine with me. Life goes on. I do however very much appreciate some of the comments I received. It's good to know I'm not the only one who pops up with a good one on occassion!

Maybe I'll just stick to writing about my life and adventures, afterall it's what I named this blog. And lord knows that I get myself into some situations that some people may find very funny. How I do it I sometimes wonder myself.

Off to another day at the office.

Maybe I'll find my sense of humor there. Ohhell...I doubt it!

Do I have a sense of humor??

I guess not. Thought I had a little bit of one. But, it appears no one appreciated my last post. Guess they didn't detect my sense of humor.

Unless..(pause for affect inserted here)..I don't have one!!

Did I lose it somewhere? Did I ever have one? (Please don't tell me that for all these years, people have been laughing AT me instead of WITH me! ARRGH!)

It's ok I guess. I will just pout for a while and move on. May or may not enter another challenge. (sniff sniff, feeling sorry for me yet?)

Heck, at least someone reads my blog when I enter one! So, maybe I will get up the nerve to try again. (still searching for that sense of humor I think I used to have....not under the puter desk...damn) Maybe I need to surf some more blogs to see what others are writing about...what people like to read.

But it won't be politics...I don't discuss those often. Nor will it be religion. To each his own I say there.

Maybe I could write a story about the guy I live with...hmmmmm...have a title in mind. Could be a help book for young women. "If you meet a man like this one...RUN THE OTHER WAY!!!" Yep, could write that.

Ohmy, are these artistic thoughts running through my brain or am I just fooling myself again? Only one way to find out :)

The "F" Word...

Yes, I say it.

The big one.

Not "fudge", and not "fart".

I mean the BIG one. THE "F" word.

Oh I know, ladies don't say that word! OHHHHH yes we do! And we use it correctly!

There are times when "ohshit", as good as it is, just doesn't cut it. And, "ohpoop" definitely won't get the message across. Forget "shucky durn" - that only works if you are five and Mom is standing next to you.

Yes, I get nasty looks at times. Ohwellhell...like they haven't popped up with it a time or two in their life?

Trust me, sometimes nothing but nothing gets the point across like a good ole "F**K!!!!!" (Especially when you are wearing good clothes, have to crawl under someones desk to work on their PC, getting all dirty, raise up and hit your head on the corner of the desk or the desk drawer...)

It's appropriate at that time don't ya think?

I do use a good old "bite me" at times, or throw in an occassional "bite my ass" for good measure. But when you are angry, really ticked off...what is more fitting than a great big "F**K YOU!" (Well, to be honest an occassional "eat shit and die" does work).

Ok, I admit it. I have a foul mouth. But there are a couple of the seven dirty words you can't say on TV (cable is another story) that even I don't say, unless you get me REALLY pissed off, but that is rare and a whole other story.

Thank God I don't live with Mom anymore. Ivory soap scraped on your teeth is not a good thing. And, Mom says it on occassion too, so we would both be eating soap - a lot.

The "F" word.

All kinds of things come to mind just at the mention of it huh?

ACCCK! A challenge!

(yes, I accck too)

I signed up for my first challenge. Why?? Ohwell, should be fun :)

Moody Monday....me? moody?

I'm tired. It's been a long day.

Actually yesterday was a long day. Was in the car for over 8 hrs. This old body can't handle those trips anymore! Got back to the house about 8:30 and was in bed by 10. Yep, old age does that to you. But it was worth it. (big smile inserted here)

My son came down for the day to see my Mom and I. We all went out to eat and had fun. Took some wonderful pics of the two of them together. Leaving him last evening was hard though, as he will start working 7/12's in about 3 wks. and it will last til Christmas. So, I don't think I will get to see him until then. He said he may get an occassional Sunday off, so I can come up then (and he wants me to work on his computer! HA! knew there was a catch!) so I will go, gladly.

The membership director and I had a talk today. I like her as a person, but the woman is dumber than a box of rocks when it comes to the job I do, and what I need her assistant to do. She has gone through 5 women (yes, 5) in the last 2 yrs. And the one they have now is a...well, I'll be nice...waste. Tell me please what is so hard about taking a paper thats in front of you with names, addresses, etc and entering that data into a computer where it says name: address:.... If only she would quit trying to speed through it so she can chat on her instant messenger (that I have deleted from her computer 3 times now). Anyway, the blame is put onto me because I want the data entered correctly so I dont have to spend hours fixing it and then telling them what all I had to fix (in writing) so they can show the girl who should have done it right the first time. (goodlord does that make sense?) The data entry being done correctly is VERY important. Our data is available on the website within 5 minutes of entry, and our council checks our data constantly to make sure we are reporting things correctly.

Ok, so I am a perfectionist when it comes to my job. Shoot me (please).