Tomorrow....

Tomorrow is my birthday.

Big freaking whoop.

My boy will call. He will tell me he loves me. Thats a wonderful gift. Truly.

I will go and see my Mom and she will give me hugs and kisses. Those will be more wonderful gifts. Can never get enough Mom hugs.

I'm not sure the roomie even remembers what tomorrow is.

I don't know why I am so sad. I shouldn't be. My son and mother love me and tell me and show me. It should be enough.

Shouldn't it?

I feel so empty, so alone.

I try so hard to fill the time, and my mind, with other things. I design homes, I play with paint shop pro, I throw myself into my job. Yet, there is something missing.

Love from someone besides my son and mother? Maybe.

Love for myself? Maybe.

What happened to that independent woman? Where did she go?

She is still here, I just know it. I just need to find her again.

Happy Birthday to me.