$991....four weeks before Christmas...

OK, so I have a Jeep. A 2002 Jeep Liberty.

I love my Jeep.

Except when I have to spend $991 four weeks before Christmas on it.

Oh alright, I know I shouldn't complain. It's been a damned good Jeep. I've kept up with oil changes, tire rotations etc. But...with it being 6 years old now and having 75,000 miles on it, little things start to happen.

PVC valves, leaking differentials, power steering fluid needing flushed (I took it in cause it was grabbing when I turned a sharp right - thought it was wheel bearings, brakes, ball joints or something - it wasn't - was something with the power steering). Front end alignment. Oh, and I had a screw in my front passenger tire.

And they charged me $38 to repair it.

Now who got screwed on that one?? (And no, I didn't enjoy it.)

So, like a good person I charged it to a credit card. That way I still have the cash to go visit my son in 10 days (the reason I took the Jeep in to the shop in the first place).

The whole situation brought back memories of when my son was small and I was working my tail off for not a lot of money. I didn't have any credit cards back then and if I had been hit with a car bill like that - well, not sure what I would have done. We, like a lot of other people, lived week to week. Sometimes day to day. If and when I got a Christmas bonus at work it went to catch up bills, stock up the food cabinet or buy my son clothes and/or shoes he needed. When things like this did come up I had to find someone, usually my boss, to loan me money and let me pay it back so much a week.

Today I am older, wiser, still a single Mom but my son supports himself now. I make more money than I ever have in my life (no folks, I am not rich nor even upper middle class...hell, I don't think I am even middle middle class.).

So yes, even though $991 is a lot of money that I don't like paying - at least now I know I can.

And that my friends, feels pretty damned good.

coughcough...hack up a lung....

No, I'm not sick - physically anyway.

The roomies brother got into town last night. Good to see him, its been a couple years. He is friendly and gives hugs - unlike his brother.

We picked him up at the airport and went out to dinner. Was nice, sat and talked. They both went out and left me sitting alone at the table so they could have a smoke.

And - when we got back to the house they both lit up - repeatedly....all night...

It was rough on me. I've only been smoke free for 4-1/2 months. I wanted one so bad yet was repulsed by the smell.

The roomie had been going outside the last few months to smoke - but now since the weather has turned colder he has started smoking inside again.

arrghhhh....

The roomies brother will be here til Saturday. I hope my lungs can handle it and I hope I can keep up my strength and not join them.

Especially on Thanksgiving. Their mother smokes too.

Maybe I'll sit outside and eat turkey....

Two little words...

"Thank You"

The words are really not hard to say. Actually they can roll off the tongue quite easily at times - most times for a lot of people. And for others? They are very difficult words to say. Especially when you take people for granted and don't think what they do for you is special.

Kinda like the roomie.

Not sure when I heard those two words last. He doesn't say them often at all.

And the last two days I have spent a lot of time checking flights, making arrangements, setting up flights, emailing itineraries, getting special dietary needs written down etc etc etc....

for his brother.

Don't get me wrong, I love his brother to death. A great guy. He can make you laugh, he lets you know he cares - and he accepted me long long ago, no questions asked.

But couldn't the roomie at least say thank you for what I've done?

I guess not.

Hell, why should he say that when he hasn't said anything else to me all evening.

Again...

4 Months and 10 days...

Since what you ask??

Since my last cigarette.

Yes, I think I am officially a nonsmoker now.

Because if I still smoked I could not set the treadmill at 3.6 and walk a mile after going half a mile at 3.1 with a very steep incline.

Hey...I smoked for almost 30 years! Cut me some slack here!! Maybe someday I will run on the thing!

Yes, it hit me today that I smoked for almost 30 whole years. Only time I stopped was while preggers for my son and for a short time after he was born.

And no, I will not become one of those nasty non-smoker types. Mainly because had it not been for the cost of the things and the fact that for my health, with the surgeries and all - I would probably be still smoking.

And....the roomie still smokes.

I can't and won't say anything to him. It's his house after all. And, for most of the summer and early fall, he has smoked outside. But now.....arrrrghhhh....he is smoking in the house. The new house. With pretty walls. Walls without nicotine stains.

Arrrgh

But...I stopped. No one told me to, I just did it.

Yeah me :)

I've earned my camera...

I did it....

Yes, I stopped after work last night and bought the camera.

(Extremely large smile inserted here...)

I spent way too much money - but what the hell. It's only money right?

(coughcough)

I got the camera, an extra lens, filters for both, a compact flash card and it cost me $746.

Including tax.

And, I get to go back tonight because not only was one of the filters a return from someone else who got gunk all over it - its the wrong size. The lens is a 50mm - the filter is 52mm.

I will not buy anything else tonight.

I can't...

I won't...

(yes - I am trying to talk myself out of spending more money)

So, someday soon I will maybe, possibly, have a picture or two here for you to see.

If you are good that is.....

Veterans Day

To all Veterans - past, present and future...

Thank you.

$500...and I am going to spend it on ME!

Yep, I am going to spend $500 on myself.

Hotdamn and a whoopee inserted here!!

I told you previously about how the roomie bought the camera I have been wanting for well (insert Valley Girl voice here) "like forever"...

And, today, in our local newspaper - a local camera store has it on sale for $499!!! Yes!!! $100 less than he paid for it! (yes, that is me laughing in the background)

Tomorrow night after work I will stop at the camera store. I will purchase said camera, and I will smile.

I may also buy an additional lense.

Merry Christmas to me....Merry Christmas to me.....

I want to run away...

Do you ever get the feeling where you just want to chuck it all and run away? Oh sure you do. Everyone gets that feeling once in a while.

Mine has lasted about the last 5 years.

I've never been one to be in with the "in" groups. Not even when I was young. I've always been the loner type (maybe that's why I still have this secret affection for the lone ranger - or it could just be that mask of his).

Today, all but a couple of us "peons" (I use the term affectionately because I truly do care about the other two ladies that were not included.) went out to lunch. One did ask me if I was going (not if I wanted to go, but she may have thought I'd been invited) just as they were walking out the door. I told her I didn't know where they were going. She just said "oh" and told me where they were going. I told her no thanks. This happens frequently at the office. And yes, it hurts. With all the other shit going on around the office right now and then the little cliques get together and just make it all the more enjoyable.

And, if you couldn't tell, its put me in a foul mood. And, its gotten me to thinking about other things...

The roomie. (Yes, I consider him a "thing" right now.) And, the fact that I am an idiot doesn't help my mood either. Again I don't fit the mold I guess. I'm not the type he wants to commit to obviously - even though we have been together over 9 years now. (Don't ask him how long - he will not know the answer.) He made a commitment to his ex-wife. They lived together I guess and eventually got married. She was good enough to marry, yet she ran around on him from what I understand.

I haven't done that and I'm not even married to the man.

Would I marry him now? No, I don't think so. He said a few years ago, and I quote, "Why ruin it?". Well hon, little do you know but when you uttered those words you killed something in the relationship or whatever in the hell this is that we have. (Good lord I sound bitter....hmmmm, maybe I am a little.)

Oh buddy, ole pal, ole roomie of mine.

It's been over 1-1/2 years since I've seen the ocean. I could live on the beach and sell tshirts or something for food (you've not seen my tshirt collection have you?). I could be a beach bum and be completely happy and content. I'd have the ocean to watch afterall.

So yes, I want to run away.

Wanna come along?

Well hell....I blew it already

Yes I know. It's only November 6th. I missed my post yesterday.

But but but...(thinking quickly to come up with multiple excuses)...

Actually I can come up with the truth - I thought about it - my son called - his sister in law called - and oops...I forgot.

Damn.

Well, maybe next year.

Poof....it just went poof....

My monitor that is.

Yep, my wonderful 19" flatscreen just poofed, went black and died. No warning, no messages...no note or words of goodbye. Just poof.

I've been thinking of buying a camera (yes, like the one the roomie bought) but now I will have to get another monitor. I'm lucky, I had a 15" flat panel that came with the computer when I bought it four years ago.

So now...what to do what to do...Do I buy just a new monitor, or do I buy a new computer that includes a new monitor??

(Yes, that is a sly grin being inserted here.)

This PC has done well. It's a little Compaq, 80gig harddrive - it has 512 ram, it now has 2 gig (the max it will take). It still works although it does make a little clunking noise once in a while.

I do a lot of work with photographs, a little video (just learning) oh, and blogging.

I had a look around online tonight - one place has a PC with 3gig ram, a separate video card, 400gig harddrive, decent processor speed and its on sale for $699. But...it doesn't have a monitor!!!

So, uh...I'd have to buy one.

Isn't that where I started??

Photography...camera's...no leaves....ohmy..

The roomie bought a new camera.

A Canon EOS Rebel XT.

arrrghhhhhhh...

I have an EOS Rebel 35mm and I love it. I also have a Minolta 35mm, an Xacti 4/8 megapixel camera/video camera and a point and shoot Nikon Coolpix 775.

But ohno...he goes out any buys the one I have been drooling over for a year.

Of course now he wants ME to teach him how to use it.

(I'll teach you how to wrap the cord around your throat...)

And, this afternoon he says "Wanna go for a drive later and "we" can try out the new camera?" I said ok, just to get out of the house. Little did I know I would have to drive too....

So we take off, looking for someplace that still has some leaves on the trees - some color...

We are about a week late. Most of the color is on the ground.

He took a few pictures, grumping the whole time that there is no color.

So, like the nice person that I am (quit coughing!!) I came back and played with the photos with my photo software. He now has color....



I've done my good deed for today - I didn't wrap the cord around his throat and I gave his picture color.

I'm just too nice sometimes....

She's home

Mom has been in a rehab center since September 28th. Today she was set free.

I called to check in and make sure everything was okay. My sister (who Mom lives with) told me they had made some major changes to Moms medications.

We've noticed in the last couple of weeks that she has been more alert, her speech seems so much better and the confusion doesn't seem near as bad...

The doctor told my sister that the medications Mom was on were contributing to some of her problems. But, she also told me that they had taken Mom off her blood thinner.

Do what?

I've been with her at dinner when they would bring it to her. "Here Nicky, take your Cumidin."

Now they say she doesn't need it? She's had 5 strokes people.

So, I called the doctor. I explain what I've been told and what I've seen at the rehab center.

He agrees, and apologizes. He is sorry that my sister and brother who went to their office earlier today to make sure Moms medication list was correct were given the wrong information!!

aaaaaccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!

So, I call my brother to see what the milligrams the pills were that Mom has...wrong size. Can't even be broken in half to give the proper dosage.

So, I call the doctors office - again. Explain it to the nurse - again. She apologizes - again.

I don't want a freaking apology - we need the correct medications and someone besides me to know the difference!!!

So, they told me to have her take 3 2mg. tablets tonight and they will call in her new prescription for 7.5mg. tablets to pick up tomorrow.

Again I call to talk to my brother about the pills. He asked me to explain it to Mom.

I love her, I truly truly love her....but I wanted to just...well...box her ears as she used to say.

She wanted to argue with me about the dosage (after I told her repeatedly that the doctor says she HAS to take the medicine - Mom it is to thin your blood so that it flows through your brain without causing another stroke. You have been taking this for years and you must take it. They have just adjusted the dosage). Then she wanted to argue because I told her the doctor wants to see her next week to take a blood test instead of in two weeks.

I'm not sure whats going on. It could be the changes due to the changes in medicines - but she wants to argue a lot lately. I do not like to argue - period.

She is a strongly independant woman (which is a good thing) - but this is bordering on majorly stubborn!

So, after 30 minutes of trying repeatedly to explain the new dosage and the need for the medicine, and explaining the change in her doctors appointment, I got off the phone.

I'm tired. Exhausted.

My sister is being promoted to sainthood.

It's November...

It is not December.

(Halloween was yesterday forgodssake!)

And every other commercial on television is about Christmas.

Toys, electronics, jewelry....gifts, trees, decorations.

Uh...excuse me, but isn't it still three weeks before Thanksgiving??

Doesn't anyone celebrate Turkey Day anymore?

I remember waking up Thanksgiving morning to a house already smelling of pies baking in the oven. Preparations would have actually started days before - grinding of cranberries, chopping of veggies for the tray and for the stuffing.

And Mom made the turkey dance. All 28 - 32 lbs. or so of it (She would get the largest turkey the store could order).

We would have turkey, ham, sweet potato's, mashed postato's, gravy, stuffing, huge veggie tray, dinner rolls, candied dill pickles, cranberry salad, jello salad and salad salad. Green bean casserole and corn for the kids. Pies - cherry, pumpkin, pecan and minced meat for Dad.

Everyone would eat so much they would literally unfasten their pants to breathe. And then in 2 hours we would go back for more.

We watched parades together and football games. And later we would gather around the table for a game of hearts.

Thanksgiving.

A day to celebrate family and be thankful for what we have and who we are with. A day to be thankful for life itself.

So tonight, November 1st, I have seen numerous Christmas commercials.

Not one for Thanksgiving.

Oh wait, I know whats going on! They are waiting 2-1/2 weeks!

Then they can start running the AFTER Thanksgiving sales commercials!

Advertisers - gotta love em...